Travel is a flirtation. When you first arrive in a new place, every cobblestone street, sunlit café, and surreptitious alleyway whispers seductively, promising stories you’ve never heard and lessons you didn’t know you needed. You’re captivated, wide-eyed, and perhaps just a little disoriented. And while some might call this wanderlust, I prefer to think of it as the kindling for romance—with yourself.

Exploring new places has a funny way of reflecting the most unexpected things back at you. Here are a few (sometimes surprising, occasionally hilarious) truths I’ve learned about myself while tripping over my luggage and embracing the chaos of discovery.

1. Your Inner Control Freak Will Be Heard (But Shouldn’t Always Be Obeyed)

It took exactly one delayed flight in Heathrow and a broken wheel on my designer carry-on for me to realize I am a planner with the zeal of an overambitious wedding coordinator. My spreadsheets have spreadsheets when it comes to mapping itineraries. But here’s the thing: even the best-planned trip hinges on a thousand tiny variables you can’t control.

Take the summer I spent in the South of France. I had every lavender field and rosé vineyard plotted with military precision, only to have my car break down in the middle of nowhere. There I was, furiously Googling towing services in my embarrassingly halting French, when a local farmer ambled by with his dog, offered me a ride back to town on his ancient scooter, and invited me to a neighborhood feast that turned out to be the most carefree night of my life. Neither a five-star meal nor Michelin map could ever compare.

Lesson: Life—and love, for that matter—requires surrendering to spontaneity. Loosen your grip; sometimes the most delicious detours are the unplanned ones.

2. You’re More Self-Reliant Than You Think (Yes, Even Without Google Maps)

Let me paint you a picture: It’s dusk in Venice, the kind where the light liquefies into pink and gold, reflecting off the canals like an Impressionist painting. Romantic, right? Sure—until you’re lost in the labyrinthine streets, your phone dies, and suddenly you’re wondering whose bright idea it was to make Google Maps your lifeline in a centuries-old city that doesn’t believe in street signs.

I wound my way along canals, turning down dead-end alleys and repeatedly asking “Piazza San Marco?” only to be redirected by smiling locals who might’ve been equally lost themselves. Eventually, wobbling into a candlelit osteria, I ordered a glass of wine, scrawled directions on the back of a receipt like it was 1992, and set back out, inhaling the damp Adriatic air with a new sense of purpose.

It wasn’t about finding my destination (though I eventually did). It was about realizing how capable and intuitive I could be when there was no “perfect” way forward.

Practical Takeaway: Not everything in life comes with a roadmap (dating, careers, wandering through Venice). Trust yourself. You’re equipped with more clarity and resilience than you know.

3. Romance Isn’t a Location—It’s a Mindset

If I had a euro for every time someone told me Paris is “the most romantic city in the world,” I could buy the Eiffel Tower. Sure, Paris has its charms, but let me tell you: no city—no matter how aesthetically perfect—can deliver romance on cue. I’ve strolled through Montmartre feeling absolutely uninspired, just as I’ve had the most exhilarating moments in places no one would expect. Like Newark Liberty International. Seriously.

Allow me to explain. After an art gala in Boston ran late, I missed my connecting flight home and ended up stranded at Newark overnight. Normally, I’d sulk with overpriced airport snacks, but that night, I struck up a conversation with a fellow traveler—a Silicon Valley transplant with a penchant for jazz. We shared vending machine pretzels, swapped travel mishaps, and even found a quiet corner where he played Ella Fitzgerald on his phone. As corny as it sounds, Newark—yes, Newark—became the backdrop for one of the most spontaneously delightful nights of my life.

The Real Magic: Newness brings romance. Not just between people, but between you and the world. Wherever you are, lean into the playful curiosity of your surroundings.

4. There’s Beauty in Being Unapologetically Yourself

Travel lays you bare, particularly during awkward missteps. Once, at a gallery opening in London (arguably one of the chicest events I’ve ever attended), I confidently mispronounced “Giovanni Bellini” while chatting with a Sotheby’s executive. I wanted to sink into the lacquered parquet floors. Until she laughed, corrected me with kindness, and pointed out her own favorite artist—from whom I’d never even heard of.

Humility is liberating. When you stop trying to orchestrate perfection and embrace the messy, imperfect sides of yourself, you end up forging better connections. Whether you’re tripping over a foreign language in a tapas bar or finding humor in spilling your gelato during a moonlit walk, people (and life) appreciate your humanity more than your façade.

Pro Tip: The more you own your quirks and fumbles, the more magnetic you become. Try it. My sunhat flew off in Capri once, and I met a friend still in my life today while scrambling to retrieve it from the rocks below.

5. Gratitude Changes Everything

Here’s the most unexpected thing I’ve learned wandering the globe: gratitude sharpens the way you see the world—and yourself.

I used to chase destinations the way some people chase first dates: always hungry for what’s next, for the bigger, shinier thing. But inevitably, there’d be a flight delay or a too-small hotel room without air conditioning, and suddenly my dream trip would feel like a letdown.

Travel taught me this: instead of waiting for conditions to align perfectly, gratitude allows you to savor what’s already there. A sunrise over the Thames. The first sip of espresso in a Sicilian piazza. Even the absurdity of chasing a nosy goat through a Tuscan vineyard (long story, but the goat won). Pausing to appreciate the moment clears a space for joy—and lets you be enough, just as you are.

Why It Matters: Whether you’re exploring Marrakech or navigating a relationship, gratitude shifts your focus from scarcity to abundance. You’re not just passing through—you’re experiencing messy, thrilling, glorious life in real time.

My Final Takeaway: The Journey Is You

If travel has taught me anything, it’s that the person you become along the way matters more than any postcard-perfect destination. It’s about navigating detours with grace (or at least a sense of humor), connecting with others over shared vulnerabilities, and falling in love with the quirks—and strengths—that make you, unapologetically, you.

So, the next time life offers you an impromptu adventure, whether it’s a weekend road trip or a misrouted layover, throw out the blueprints. Wander. Stumble. See yourself through new eyes. After all, the very best journeys are the ones that take you deeper into who you’re meant to be.