I was raised in a home where books stacked higher than the furniture, coffee was brewed strong enough to wake ancestors, and our family motto could’ve been something like “Words are sacred, but don’t take them too seriously.” It’s no surprise that as an adult, the things I can’t live without speak to the fusion of culture, connection, and comfort that shaped me. From Montreal’s cobblestone streets to the wi-fi glow of late-night chats with friends across the Atlantic, these essentials are my grounding forces. Let’s dive into my not-so-humble list of must-haves.

1. My Well-Stocked Journal (A.K.A. My Therapy Substitute)

There’s a saying my mother used to tell me in French: “L’écriture est un refuge où l’âme se dépose.” Writing is a refuge where the soul rests. She’s the type of woman who could turn a morning croissant into poetry, but this little axiom has stayed with me. My journal is where I scribble everything—fragments of conversations I overhear in the metro, rough sketches for future stories, and even the occasional, overdramatic bullet list of personal woes. Whatever your creative vice is—whether it’s doodles, songs, or journal entries—don’t underestimate its power to carry you through heartbreaks or make sense of the surreal highs of modern dating.

(Relatable moment: When that one cryptic message from your latest Hinge match has you furiously scribbling, “What does it mean?” in capital letters. Spoiler: It means nothing, and they probably just got distracted by pizza.)

2. A Killer Red Lipstick That Does All the Talking

Never underestimate the confidence boost of a red lipstick. I’m partial to a French pharmacy staple—those inexplicably chic tubes that make you feel like Catherine Deneuve, even if you’re really just heading to Dollarama for dish soap. My go-to? A deep, bold shade that says, “I’m busy living my best life, darling,” even when I’m ghosting texts from the insufferable guy who referred to himself as an “empath” but still forgot my birthday.

This isn’t just about aesthetics; it’s armor. Whether I’m conquering nerve-wracking meet-the-parents dinners or strolling through a bustling marché full of pouty Parisians, it’s my reminder that even on the worst days, I deserve to feel fabulous. Bonus: it pairs wonderfully with both confidence and an overpriced macaron.

3. My Mom’s Onion Soup Recipe (the Magic Elixir of Life)

Confession: I’m not some Instagrammable foodie chef. But I do make a damn good French onion soup. This is the kind of recipe that takes time (and lots of butter), but it’s therapy disguised as cooking. My mom taught me this one winter afternoon in Montreal, the snow outside relentless—almost mocking—and our cramped kitchen full of foggy windows and the smell of caramelized onions so sweet they could soften a cynic.

Now, it’s my go-to comfort food after bad dates, bad news, or just bad moods. Fun fact: I once made it for a boyfriend, and he told me it was better than his grandma’s. (Sadly, the relationship didn’t last, but that compliment? Forever engraved on my soul.)

4. A Spotify Playlist of Sad and Sexy Anthems

If our souls have soundtracks, mine exists somewhere between Serge Gainsbourg verses and Cœur de Pirate laments. Music is my emotional Swiss Army knife, from sultry background notes for dates that go late into the night to ugly-cry jams for moments that require tissues and wine.

For the sexy vibes? Stacy’s Mom. (Okay, kidding. Mostly.) Think “La Grenade” by Clara Luciani or literally anything Stromae has ever touched. For heartbreak? Adele. Always Adele. She doesn’t just sing ballads; she bears your emotional baggage for you while you stare out a rainy window. Pro Tip: Curate a playlist for every relationship phase—it’s oddly therapeutic to create “We Just Met; I’m Totally Cool, But I Secretly Stalked Your Instagram” vibes into a cohesive playlist.

5. A City That Feels Like Home (No Matter Where You Are)

I live and breathe places with stories to tell—Montreal’s indie cafés, Paris’s thrift shops tucked behind the smell of bakeries, even the occasional romantic detour through Quebec City’s winding cobblestone streets. There's something grounding about having a place—whether it’s your regular metro stop, a corner booth at your favorite café, or the park bench where you go to people-watch (and eavesdrop on flirtations).

Home, in essence, isn’t a building; it’s how a city hugs you. It’s the subtle magic of navigating your go-to brunch spot where the barista memorized your latte order ages ago. If you don’t have one yet—find it. A spot to sit and reflect will save you when you need space to breathe, cry, or even just laugh about awkward flirtations that deserve their own Netflix rom-com series.

6. A Best Friend Who Isn’t Afraid to Call You Out

Like any great Québécois anthem, my life sometimes oscillates between overly dramatic and delightfully absurd. For this, you need a person who can reel you in—ideally someone with impeccable timing and the kind of stare that screams, “Stop romanticizing the fact that he sends mean-but-funny memes instead of saying how he feels.”

Mine? Her name’s Clara, and God bless her ability to be brutally honest while holding a mimosa. Everyone needs a Clara, or someone who:
- Texts you “no, delete that text immediately” before you wreck your own dignity.
- Makes you laugh about that one time you got dumped at dim sum in under 20 minutes.
- Reminds you that love should feel as good as a cozy fall sweater (not a scratchy one you try to convince yourself is worth wearing).

Clara’s pep talks have pushed me to take leaps I’d otherwise avoid, from literal speed-dating events (never again) to booking flights when my impostor syndrome told me to just stay home.

7. A Splurge-Worthy Bottle of Something Sparkly

We’re all romantics at heart, and for me, that means champagne tucked away for the small victories. I’m not suggesting a wildly expensive Dom Pérignon habit here (who do you think I am, Carrie Bradshaw?), but treating yourself like the star of your own love story is invaluable. First kiss with someone amazing? Pop a bottle. Got through an argument without passive-aggressively slamming a door? Cheers to you. Learned to love yourself through it all? That’s worth the whole bottle.

The real romance isn’t in waiting for someone else to buy you flowers or champagne; it’s about celebrating the chapters you write on your own.

Final Thoughts: What Really Matters

The intimate truth about the “things” we can’t live without? They’re not things at all but reflections of who we are and what we hold dear. Your essentials might not taste like onion soup or feel like Paris after midnight, but they should bring you joy, anchor you in your messy moments, and remind you of your inherent worth.

Here’s the bottom line: life, dating, and relationships aren’t supposed to feel like a perfect checklist. They’re more like a Spotify shuffle—some hits, some skips, but always a few surprises tucked in. Whatever feels essential to you—hold onto it fiercely. You, my dear, deserve nothing less.

Cheers to your own list—and the delicious, messy adventure it takes to discover it.