Introduction: Sunrise is Sacred, But So is Coffee
There’s this old Diné saying my grandmother used to repeat to me as a kid: “The sun waits for no one—rise before her, and you’ll never be chasing the day.” While as an adult I feel like I’m chasing the day most of the time, those words have shaped the rhythm of my mornings. In a world where life and love often seem like endless swiping, scrolling, and small talk, my daily rituals anchor me. They remind me that connection—whether with myself, others, or my environment—is sacred.

That’s a lot to put on a cup of coffee, right? But trust me, by the time you’ve read this, you’ll see how unexpected habits—like smudging your space or turning grocery shopping into a personality test—can take your day (and relationship with yourself) from basic to surprisingly beautiful.

Sunrises, Sage, and the Sacred Solo Dance Party
My day starts as early as 5:30 a.m., when the light begins to paint the desert purple and gold. (If I’m in Portland, well—hello, muted gray skies. Still kind of romantic, but definitely no desert glow.) First things first: I open a window to let in the morning air, which, especially back home in Arizona, smells like damp earth and sagebrush. I grab my smudge stick and light it up—a mix of sage and cedar if I can find it. Smudging quiets the static in my mind and makes me feel like the day ahead is intentional rather than accidental. Sometimes, I say a quiet morning prayer in Diné. Sometimes...I just yell “Not today, chaos!” and call it good.

Next up: music. Starting the day in silence just feels unnatural to me. On a rotation lately has been Buffy Sainte-Marie to feed my soul, followed immediately by something danceable—I’m talking grooving in my pajamas while making mediocre scrambled eggs. (On particularly bold mornings, Lizzo makes an appearance. Try cooking and not belting along to “Juice.” It’s impossible.) It’s not glamorous, but is it joyful? Oh, absolutely.

Takeaway Tip: Bring a little joy into your mornings. Whether it’s smudging, sunlight bathing, or a spontaneous two-step with your toaster, the way you start your day matters more than the exact routine.

Grocery Shopping...as Personality Development
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but grocery stores are essentially the modern dating battlefield. Picture it: me, 10 a.m. at the co-op, avoiding eye contact with a handsome stranger while clutching three avocados and a plant-based burrito I don’t really need. Grocery shopping has become one of the quirkiest parts of my day—it offers just enough social anxiety to keep me on my toes, plenty of people-watching opportunities, and some weirdly useful self-reflection.

Here’s the thing: how you grocery shop says everything about how you approach relationships. Are you the list-wielding type, methodical and linear, who doesn’t deviate from the kale aisle? Or are you like me—a chaotic meanderer tossing random snacks in her cart, only to suffer existential regret over six types of hummus at checkout? Either way, it’s a mirror of how we show up for others. And, funny enough, once I reframed it as a chance to practice patience and decisiveness, grocery adventures became...kinda therapeutic?

Takeaway Tip: Find everyday spaces that challenge your comfort zone—like trying a new grocery store or striking up a silly conversation with a barista—and embrace them as chances to observe yourself. Sometimes, the little things we do alone prepare us better for the life we share with others.

Midday Walks and Quiet Connections
Somewhere between answering emails and overthinking my next meal, I lace up my sneakers and head outdoors for my daily walk. Growing up, my elders taught me the importance of walking not just to move my bones, but to clear my mind and “introduce yourself to the land.”

If I’m in Arizona or New Mexico, that means wandering desert hills or small-town streets, looking for rabbit tracks and soaking up that crisp, dry air. Portland, meanwhile, offers plenty of parks where moss-covered trees feel ancient and wise, like they’re keeping their own secrets.

What I love most about these walks is that they feel like a metaphor for relationships—we’re all trying to walk with life, not rush ahead of it. On these walks, I try to focus on gratitude: being thankful for serendipitous conversations, forgiving myself for silly slip-ups, and letting my mind wander toward possibilities instead of past mistakes. Cheesy? Maybe. Effective? Definitely.

Takeaway Tip: Invest in quiet time. Whether it’s a mindful walk or a few minutes journaling, reconnecting with yourself will help you reconnect with others. Plus, you’d be amazed how much clarity comes from simply unplugging.

Dinner is Date Night, Even If It’s Just Me
By the time evening rolls around, I’m ready to put my phone down, light some candles, and channel all the romantic energy of a Nora Ephron movie—solo style. Trust me, there’s something transformative about intentionally setting the mood for yourself. Sometimes it’s a fancy-ish meal (by which I mean heating Trader Joe’s gnocchi and dumping marinara on top) that reminds me I deserve effort, even when it’s just for me.

Other times, I use my dinner prep as a kind of aromatherapeutic experience. Chopping garlic? Invigorating. Stirring spices into a pot of soup? Meditative. I even keep my grandmother’s recipe for Navajo kneel-down bread nearby for really nostalgic nights—though I’ll admit I rarely make it. Mostly, it’s a reminder that food isn’t just sustenance; it’s memory and love, served up on a plate.

Takeaway Tip: Let your evenings be indulgent in small, meaningful ways. Create rituals around food or leisure that make you feel grounded, not just entertained. A little romance—for yourself—goes a long way.

The Bedtime Glow-Up and Final Thoughts
My nighttime routine is less about beauty (unless messy topknots count) and more about decompressing. After a long day of being, well, human, I settle down with a book or do something grandma-level wholesome, like beadwork or skincare masking. Nights in the desert often mean hearing coyotes echo their calls outdoors—something that feels like a lullaby from the natural world.

Before falling into bed, I do one simple thing: I write down three things I’m proud of that day. It could be as small as sending a sweet text to a friend or as big as surviving a hard conversation. This habit started as a way to remind myself I don’t need a relationship to feel whole—but it’s also a nice confidence boost. After all, relationships work best when you already know (and love) who you are.

Takeaway Tip: Celebrate what you did well today. Self-love doesn’t always come naturally, but it grows every time you acknowledge your own worth.

Conclusion: Cultivate the Unexpected
Whether the day includes smudging, impromptu dance moves, six indecisive jars of hummus, or coyote lullabies, the lesson is clear: love starts in the spaces we create for ourselves. My life isn’t glamorous—it’s a patchwork of traditions, rituals, and humorous stumbles—but each little habit helps me show up more fully.

Want to feel closer to others? Start with yourself. Let your daily life be the love story it deserves to be.