Morning Magic: Setting the Tone
To some people, mornings are a race to guzzle coffee and remember where they put their keys. For me, mornings are sacred—like a whispered prayer to the universe or the opening credits to a really great movie. Somewhere between the soft light dusting the desert landscape and the faint smell of piñon wood lingering in the air, I’ve built a ritual that keeps me grounded in the unpredictable game of life (and love).
My mornings almost always start with tea. Not because I’m morally opposed to coffee (I know better than to spark that debate), but because there’s something meditative about waiting for the water to boil and steeping loose-leaf chamomile in my favorite mug—the one my best friend gave me after an especially dramatic breakup. As the tea warms my hands, I sit on my adobe patio and take in the sprawling sky. It’s my weather report, mood board, and horoscope all in one.
Pro tip: Beginning your day with a moment of calm is wildly underrated. Even if your “calm” is five minutes of scrolling dog videos in bed, make it intentional. The tone you set in the morning can ripple through the rest of your day.
Work with Love, Live with Joy
By 9:00 AM, I’m heading to my family’s gallery to curate the chaos. You’d think growing up surrounded by art would make you immune to its magic, but working alongside my parents to spotlight the stories of local artists still fills me with childlike wonder. It’s taught me an important lesson about relationships: When you approach anything—work, hobbies, people—with curiosity, you’ll never run out of things to uncover.
Now, you might be wondering what this has to do with dating. Here’s the twist: relationships are works of art in themselves. They need layers, texture, and light. You can’t force the masterpiece; you blend and reimagine until it fits both your minds and hearts.
Take a note from the artists: Technique is useful, but instinct matters more. Show me one person who has plotted their “perfect relationship” step by strategic step, and I’ll show you ten people laughing into glasses of wine about how nothing ever goes as planned. Relationships, like mural painting or pottery, involve embracing the surprises.
Of course, my art gallery hours aren't always romantic metaphors. Sometimes they’re just me repairing a chipped frame with super glue while my dad critiques my alignment skills. Life, like love, isn’t always glamorous—and that’s where the real work (and joy) lies.
The Magic Hour: Afternoon Reset
Here’s where I deviate from your standard day-in-the-life template. While most people push through the post-lunch slump, I’ve perfected an afternoon mental reset: barefoot walks in the arroyo behind the gallery. My hiking boots have their place, sure, but this is different. There’s something grounding about feeling the warm dirt and uneven pebbles beneath my feet, like the world is nudging me to step out of my own head.
If you’re rolling your eyes at the New Mexican “woo-woo” vibes, let me tell you—walking barefoot through the sand has scientifically-proven benefits for your nervous system. (Or at least that’s what my yoga instructor swears.) I think the neuroscientific benefits are just a bonus. The real power comes from moving my body just enough to untangle my thoughts.
And yes, this practice has snuck its way into my dating life. On more than one occasion, I’ve convinced a partner to trade cocktail bars for sunset walks in places where cell service decides to ghost you. There’s something deeply unifying about standing side by side, noticing the world together. Try it sometime.
Evenings: The Sweet Spot
Evenings are when the unexpected often sneaks up on me, which is oddly exhilarating. Some nights revolve around gallery openings or small-town dinners with friends where at least one person—usually my mother—tries to set me up with “the perfect match.” (Spoiler alert: they rarely are.) Other nights, it’s just me, a well-creased book, and a playlist that toggles between soulful flamenco and 90s alt-rock.
But let me take you back to those dinners. Cue the awkward blind-date flashbacks. Santa Fe is a small town with a big personality, so when you’re single, every date feels like a public event. Once, during tapas, I found myself rewriting the Spanish Civil War backstory behind my date's tattoo because it was factually inaccurate. (Yes, I told him. Yes, that was the end of the date.)
So let me offer you this nugget of advice: On a date, pay attention to their stories. Do they share with intention or rattle off trivia they think will impress you? The best connections are built on curiosity—showing genuine interest in the messy, wild, beautiful details of each other’s lives. And also, fact-checking is optional. Trust me on this.
Nighttime Rituals: Wander, Wonder, Dream
Before bed, I do something that might feel like a no-brainer: I log offline. My friends joke that I exist in a reverse time warp, ignoring zeitgeisty TikTok trends until someone texts me a link. But digital minimalism is how I protect one sacred act—daydreaming without interruption.
Most nights, you’ll find me sketching ideas for my next story or reimagining the color palette of Georgia O’Keeffe’s “Sky Above Clouds” in my head. I’ve found that creativity thrives in the spaces where structure isn’t required—especially in love.
Dating and relationships, after all, are creative processes. We imagine, we try, we pivot. It’s less about finding sparks and more about tending them—watching them flicker and grow or fade into something we can dust off with fondness.
Love Is Art in Progress
If there’s one thing my day-to-day life has taught me, it’s this: art and relationships aren’t about perfection. Nobody can promise symmetry, smooth edges, or a perfectly balanced composition. What we can promise ourselves is to show up to the canvas—to keep painting, shaping, and embracing what emerges.
Whether your day is full of gallery openings or spreadsheets, whether your evenings involve barefoot walks or back-to-back Marvel movies, carve out time to honor the unique rhythm of your life. Play with its hues and textures. When you do, the connections you build—romantic or otherwise—will reflect the same thoughtful, vibrant essence.
So here’s the takeaway: Life is messy. Love is an interpretive dance where you occasionally step on toes. And that’s okay. It’s all part of the big picture—your masterpiece in progress.
