“That’s Not It—Can You Say It Right?”

A few years back, I was at a coffee shop when a barista called out, “Savannah?” Simple enough. But the guy standing next to me squinted at me and, in full confidence, said, “Savanna? No ‘h’? That’s such a unique spelling.” I blinked. My coffee cup had the standard “h” at the end, as it always does, the barista’s handwriting putting my name firmly into the world it belonged to. Yet this man—who clearly just wanted to flirt—painted an alternate existence for me in which the finishing “h” was erased, leaving something somehow... lesser. That little slip became more than a harmless mistake—it made me think about how names, so seemingly simple, carry the weight of identity and belonging.

What’s in a name? Shakespeare asked it centuries ago, but if he’d been on my journey as a kid named Savannah Ridge, growing up one street over from a place called Savannah Avenue, he’d know there’s a whole lot more than he let on. Names are introductions, icebreakers, and—especially in the world of dating—the running track for that first spark of chemistry. Allow me to walk you through why getting someone’s name right matters and how that little choreography of syllables ties into self-discovery, respect, and, who knows, maybe even love.

The Notes Behind a Name

I was named “Savannah” because my mom, a music teacher, said it had the rhythm of a country song. “Sa-VAN-nah... hear that melody?” she’d croon. My dad (the guitar player in a country band) nodded along, and apparently, that settled it. As much as I’d love to have some wild origin story—some ancient family connection to Savannah, Georgia, or a tale of how my parents picked my name after hearing it sung in the smoky backroom of a honky-tonk—I think they simply liked how it sounded. But even that simplicity has carved my story in ways I didn’t fully grasp growing up.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably done the utterly dorky thing where you Google your own name’s meaning. “Savannah,” for those curious, means “open plain” or “grassland.” A little underwhelming, right? I used to wish I had something more poetic, like “Luna” or “Aurora.” But over time, I’ve started embracing its Southern roots and the connection it has to nature—wild, untamed, and expansive. And that sense of identity leaks into every part of who I am, from how I write songs to how I show up in relationships.

Hooked on the Handle: Why Getting Someone’s Name Right Is Non-Negotiable

Let’s pause for a moment. Imagine this: you’re on the best first date of your life, the conversation is flowing, the wine is pouring, the appetizers hold the promise of dessert...and then they call you the wrong name. Not as a joke. Not even as a one-off slip. They’re convinced it’s what you told them earlier—or worse, they don’t care enough to check.

Cringe-worthy? Absolutely. Unrecoverable? Probably not, unless your name is something famously tricky (shoutout to Irish friends like Saoirse and Siobhán who battle pronunciation their whole lives). Getting names right isn’t about nit-picking—it’s about paying attention. Ultimately, someone’s name is their fingerprint, a small but mighty way to reassure them, “I see you for who you are.”

Here’s why names matter in relationships:

  • They’re your first impression: Whether it's a first date or meeting friends of a romantic partner, mangling someone’s name says, “Eh, close enough!” It sets the wrong tone before you’ve even gotten past appetizers.
  • Respect is at the core of connection: You don’t have to match someone in every way—different hobbies, values, or love languages can all work. But not respecting something as basic as their name? That’s a nonstarter.
  • We’re wired to respond to our names: Science time! Hearing your name activates parts of your brain tied to self-identity. Even in a crowded room, you’ll perk up at its sound. It’s not just a word—it’s a signal of belonging.

The Dating Case Study: “Sav” vs. “Savannah”

Names take on a whole new meaning when you’re dating. In my experience, nicknames are tricky territory. I love the sound of someone calling me “Sav,” but only after an unspoken milestone—a few dates in, or maybe when I’ve finally admitted I binge-watch baking shows at 2 a.m. (That’s secrets-level intimacy, trust me.) Jumping straight to the nickname, though? It’s like skipping the verses of a song and going right to the chorus. And if you’re trying too hard to remix it—calling me “Savi” or “Vanna”—you’d better come with a good reason, preferably one wrapped up in charm.

On the flip side, getting picky with your own name can seem awkward at first. Like when someone called me “Ridge” casually during a date because they thought I’d find it “cowgirl-cool.” I laughed it off, but my inner voice whispered, Don’t let this slide. It doesn’t feel like me. Naming isn’t just about sound; it’s about intention. The way someone calls your name reflects how they see you—so if it strikes the wrong note, speak up before the song gets off-key.

Own Your Name, Own Your Story

If this all sounds a bit existential, it’s because names are wrapped in identity. By embracing your name, you’re also embracing everything it represents: your quirks, your history, your culture. But just as important as liking your name is ensuring the people around you respect it. Think of it this way: correcting someone about your name isn’t rude—it’s standing up for yourself with grace.

Here are a few tips for letting your name shine, whether in relationships or day-to-day life:
1. Set the tone early. When meeting someone, repeat your name clearly. If they stumble, lovingly guide them! A smile goes a long way when teaching someone your name’s rhythm.
2. Don’t settle for “close enough.” Someone calling you by the wrong name isn’t cute or quirky—it’s lazy. If they’re worth your time, they’ll learn. 3. Embrace your full identity. Whether you go by your given name, a nickname, or even a middle name, own it unapologetically. Your name is your story, and any partner worth their salt will want to know all the verses.
4. Play with curiosity. Ask others about their names. Where do they come from? What do they mean? It’s an instant hack for deeper connection.

Striking the Right Chord

I can’t help but circle back to music. My parents didn’t give me a name that screams rock star fame, but what they did give me is a rhythm—a call to be Southern, melodic, and maybe a little wild. “Savannah” grounds me in who I am while giving me all the room I need to grow.

As for the guy who dropped that “no ‘h’” line at the coffee shop? He didn’t get a second date, but he did get an espresso shot of advice: If you can’t remember my “h,” maybe you should start with, “Hey, remind me how to pronounce your beautiful name.” Whether it’s love or just a latte, the best connections start when someone says your name exactly as it’s meant to be sung.

So when it comes to my story—and yours—don’t forget: Names matter. And when someone takes the time to say yours, true and clear, there’s no sweeter tune.