Ever feel like you’re two people rolled into one? Like some unruly cosmic Venn diagram where parts of you are constantly battling for the main stage? If so, welcome. You’ve found your people—or at least, you’ve found me. Living between worlds is my specialty, whether we’re talking about balancing the big-city energy of New York with the soul-soothing calm of Myrtle Beach or figuring out which version of Kaylee shows up for a second date (Beach Kaylee: flip-flops; City Kaylee: ankle boots, obviously).

The in-between can feel like a no-man’s-land sometimes, teetering between “Am I enough?” and “Oh no, I’m too much.” But here’s the thing: it’s also where all the magic happens. Let’s dive into the art of thriving in the overlap—whether you’re blending personal identities, cultural truths, or just figuring out who you’re supposed to be at that fancy dinner party when someone asks if you’ve read Tolstoy. Spoiler: I haven’t. But I’ve perfected the art of the knowing smile.

The Push and Pull Dilemma

Living between two worlds often feels like being a contestant on a high-stakes game show you didn’t sign up for. Behind Door #1: a life of Southern ease—barefoot evenings by the water, knowing the name of the guy who makes your coffee every morning, and being one “Hey y’all” away from earning honorary sweet-tea ambassador status. Behind Door #2: the electric thrill of city life—towering skyscrapers, intriguing strangers, and the unparalleled joy of takeout sushi at 11 p.m.

For a while, I thought I had to pick one door. Life seemed easier when I fit into a neatly labeled box: the beach girl or the city slicker, the writer of breezy travel guides or the aspiring literary heavyweight. But guess what? Those boxes are bogus, and so is the pressure to choose one when you’re clearly toe-tapping in both. Life isn’t an either/or scenario; it’s a both/and masterpiece. This is especially true when it comes to relationships.

Love in the Intersection

If navigating those in-between spaces as an individual is tricky, bringing someone else into the mix can feel like trying to merge two Spotify playlists: one part mellow acoustic guitar, one part Top 40 bangers. When I started dating, I worried a lot about calibrating myself to match someone else’s vibe. Was I being too laid-back? Not ambitious enough? Too quirky with the whole “boardwalk nostalgia” thing?

The turning point came during a date with a guy who wore loafers without socks (yes, it was a red flag, but hindsight is 20/20). When he asked if I’d ever considered “moving somewhere more refined,” I swallowed a bite of seared tuna and stared at him, stunned silent. “Refined?” I finally said. “Have you seen the way the marsh grass glows at sunset? There’s nothing more refined than nature showing off.” (Reader, he did not get a second date.)

The lesson? Stop editing your story so someone else will like the ending. If you’re trying to shape-shift into what you think someone wants, you’re only delaying their chance to meet the real you—and robbing yourself of a connection that celebrates both your playlists, mismatched as they may be.

Embrace Being (Lovably) Complicated

So, how do you thrive between worlds while staying true to yourself? Some days, it’s messy! (Think sand in your shoe level messy.) But here’s how I’ve learned to soften the friction:

  1. Own Your Contrasts
    Picture this: I’ve got a shelf in my apartment with a well-worn Southern cookbook sharing space with a stack of poetry chapbooks I picked up in Brooklyn. This isn’t me being indecisive—it’s me being all of myself seamlessly. Bake the biscuits, read the poetry, and don’t explain yourself to anyone who tries to pin you into one realm.

  2. Communicate Clearly
    In relationships, it’s easy to accidentally send mixed signals about who you are. “I love long walks on the beach” sounds great until a date books you a kayaking trip and you realize you were mostly talking about seashell collecting in flip-flops. Be real about who you are and what you love, even when it feels like both a Hallmark card and an indie Sundance film are spilling out of your brain.

  3. Make Space for Both Worlds
    Just because you’re leaning into one part of your identity doesn’t mean another part has to fade. Love mornings at the farmers’ market and rooftop drinks with friends? Great—they don’t cancel each other out. Schedule your weekend accordingly.

  4. Seek Common Ground
    When I finally stopped trying to compartmentalize myself, something amazing happened: I realized I wasn’t the only one living this dual existence. Whether it’s a partner, a friend, or the barista who’s making your second oat milk latte this week, you’ll always connect more naturally when you let people see the full picture.

See the Overlap as Home

The truth is, most of us are living between worlds in some way. Maybe you’re blending your identity as an introvert and a social butterfly (hello, same); maybe you’re balancing your small-town upbringing with an adventurous streak that’s got you trying rock climbing for the first time. None of it is mutually exclusive, and everything about it is inherently you.

Living in the in-between teaches you adaptability, resilience, and how to laugh at yourself when you show up to brunch in sandals, only to realize everyone else came dressed for a SoHo photo shoot. It’s not about picking one box or the other; it’s about building the box that fits you—and then maybe leaving it behind entirely when you realize you don’t need one after all.

So, if you’ve got one foot in each world and don’t know where you belong, I say this: don’t overthink it. The overlap is its own gorgeous, unrepeatable place, and the right people will love meeting you there. For now, grab your metaphorical (or literal) flip-flops and ankle boots—because life between worlds is calling, and it’s never been more yours to own.