Why Online Dating Feels Like Backpacking in the Wilderness

When I first dipped a toe into the vast, occasionally treacherous waters of online dating, it reminded me of my childhood summers hiking through the forests of Northern Idaho. Strange comparison, right? But stay with me. You pack your metaphorical bag (aka your profile), trying to balance your essentials (your dazzling personality, maybe a cute dog) with some just-in-case items (breathtaking vacation photos, that one picture where your hair looks phenomenal). Then, you venture into uncharted territory, hoping the map leads you to something extraordinary, or at least free of red flags—a lot like making sure the trail doesn’t lead you straight into a patch of poison ivy.

The good news? Just like those hiking trails, online dating can offer breathtaking rewards if you’ve got the right preparation. So, let’s get you geared up to take your dating profile from lackluster to unforgettable. But first, let’s start with a shared truth we’ve all wrestled with.

The Tough Truth: Your Profile is Kind of Your Trailhead

Your online dating profile is your trailhead—it’s where people stop, glance around, and decide if your path is worth exploring. No one lingers too long at the starting point, so that first impression needs to stand out. Which begs the question: What story are you telling?

Be honest—how many times have you seen profiles that go something like:

  • “I love to laugh.”
  • “Looking for someone who doesn’t take life too seriously!”
  • “Message me if you want to know more…”

Yawn. Not only is this as generic as trail mix without the M&Ms, but it tells potential matches absolutely nothing specific about you. That’s the digital equivalent of putting up a trail sign that reads, “Meh. Nothing interesting ahead.”

Instead, try painting a picture of your personality—literally or figuratively. Think of the “About Me” section like that small but critical trail description posted on the wooden sign at official hiking spots. You’ve got a limited amount of space, so make it count. Here’s how:

Section 1: Gear Up With Specifics

Specificity is your secret weapon. If you like hiking, don’t just say, "I enjoy the outdoors." Instead, say something like, “Nothing beats a foggy morning hike through pine forests, ideally followed by coffee in my favorite black Thermos.” Notice the difference? That’s the difference between someone clicking “like” and moving on, or someone thinking, “Wait! I have a favorite black Thermos too!”

Translation: Specific equals memorable. Here’s a quick cheat sheet to infuse your profile with some personality:

  1. Swap General Interests for Quirky Details
  2. Instead of: “I love books.”

  3. Say: “Currently debating if I should trust Colleen Hoover with my emotional stability—for the third time.”

  4. Mention Your Realistic Weaknesses (If You Dare)

  5. Instead of being perfect, embrace your quirks! Instead of: “I’m super easygoing,” try:

    • “I’m easygoing unless you give me pineapple on pizza, in which case we might have to talk.”

  6. Use Pop Culture as a Bridge

  7. Instead of: “I love to laugh.”
  8. Say: “I think Leslie Knope is my spirit animal, but I definitely eat more waffles.”

Remember, when you’re specific and relatable, you’re much more likely to connect with someone who gets your vibe.

Section 2: Curating the Right Photo Album

Here’s the thing: Photos speak louder than captions—especially in the swipe-happy era of dating apps. But if you think the recipe is just “one suit pic + one dog pic + that one suspiciously cropped group photo,” I respectfully need to intervene. Let’s break it down.

The Do’s of Dating App Photos:

  • Show variety: Think “highlight reel” rather than “one mood only.” Include a mix of hobbies (kayaking!), everyday life (your weirdly photogenic Sunday morning pancake stack), and social settings (proof you have friends).
  • Eyes are key: Make sure at least one photo shows your lovely face clearly, sans sunglasses, hats, or your third-grade Halloween costume. Mysteries are fun in novels, but not here.
  • Smile (or laugh) with your whole self: Studies show people swipe right more on profiles with friendly, candid smiles vs. brooding stares better suited for indie album covers.

The Don’ts of Dating App Photos:

  • Don’t overfilter or photodump: If your photos look so airbrushed you’re basically auditioning for “The Sims,” people will assume catfishing vibes. And limit group pics—I don’t want to play “Where’s Waldo?” just to find you.
  • Ditch the gym selfie cliches: Yes, we’re proud of those bicep curls. No, it shouldn’t lead your profile.

Bonus tip: If you’re like me and rarely LOVE a photo of yourself, try asking a good friend for their input—they often see what we don’t.

Section 3: The Power of a Witty Opener

Let’s fast-forward to the messaging stage, where many a flirtation fizzles out due to the dreaded, lifeless opening. Nothing triggers an eyeroll faster than, "Hey." That’s basically the bread sandwich of conversation starters: bland, uninspired, and unlikely to go anywhere.

Here’s the deal: Good openers tap into curiosity, humor, or shared interests. My go-to advice? Use their profile as a springboard. For example:
- If they mention loving “The Office,” text: “Important debate: How many pretzels is too many on Pretzel Day?”
- If they have a wild travel pic, message: “That canyon photo is epic. Did you take the road less traveled or did Google Maps conspire against you?”

Funny, specific conversation openers let your personality shine while encouraging an equally engaging response. You’re not looking for a performance, after all—you’re looking to reveal your humanness.

Section 4: Release the Pressure (Seriously)

Finally, let’s address the deeper fear behind many “meh” dating profiles: the impulse to sound universally appealing instead of your actual self. Trust me, I get it. As someone who spent my 20s desperately trying to toe the line between being “interesting enough” without being “too quirky” (spoiler: I once wrote, “lover of coffee and cozy flannels” on my profile—groundbreaking), let me save you the trouble.

It’s better to be authentically YOU and attract people who resonate, instead of diluting yourself into a half-hearted version of “pleasant but forgettable.” Whether that means you’re boldly showcasing your obsession with birdwatching in small-town Montana, or proudly declaring your guilty-pleasure love of nostalgic Disney Channel movies, the right people won’t just “swipe right”—they’ll stay interested.

The Final Takeaway: From Ordinary to Extraordinary

Here’s the deal: Building a killer dating profile isn’t about creating some polished, perfect brand of yourself. It’s more like finding your storytelling voice—the one that feels honest but magnetic, quirky yet relatable. Remember, you’re not hiking this trail to impress every passerby. You’re here to find that one other adventurous soul who looks at your profile and thinks, “Okay, that’s who I want by my side.”

So, grab your virtual hiking boots, pack that bag with purpose, and get out there. Because whether it’s finding the literal trailhead in North Idaho or the symbolic one on Tinder, trust me—there are extraordinary things waiting for you on the other side of the first step.