Curiosity is an underrated superpower. Sure, it won’t help you leap over skyscrapers or duck lasers in a high-tech heist, but it might land you in places you couldn’t imagine—both geographically and emotionally. And let me tell you, the best things in life often sit on the other side of a “What if?” What if I took a dance class? What if I tried that random French dish I can’t pronounce? What if I actually stopped side-eying that cute stranger and said “hi”?
If you’ve been playing it safe lately, or just vibing in autopilot, consider this your wake-up call. Curiosity isn’t just for kids or BuzzFeed quizzes about which bread type matches your personality. It’s the gas in the car of your love life, friendships, and—let’s be real—everything that makes existence interesting. Here’s how curiosity took me (and others) somewhere unexpected—and how it might do the same for you.
The South Side Poetry Slam That Changed My Life
Imagine this: an 18-year-old me, fresh out of high school, standing in the back of a packed community center-turned-poetry-club on a sweltering summer night. I didn’t plan to be there. My boy Marcus had two extra tickets, and since my usual Friday-night move was reading Baldwin alone, I figured why not? I wasn’t into spoken word at the time—it felt like one step removed from people snapping their fingers about angst while wearing berets—but curiosity won.
And honestly? That night blew my whole worldview open. The spotlight unveiled poets who could weave words into magic. There was a woman who compared heartbreak to jazz improvisation—chaotic and beautiful—and a dude who made shaving his beard sound like a spiritual journey. I remember thinking, “How could anyone not want to hear this?”
That night, one question—“What’s the worst that could happen if I go?”—turned into a lifelong fascination with storytelling. Had I let my assumptions win, I might’ve missed out on one of the defining moments of my creative journey. Sometimes curiosity doesn’t just nudge you into the unfamiliar—it changes your whole trajectory.
Here’s the takeaway: Being curious about someone else’s experiences—or even interests unlike your own—can expand your world in ways you can’t anticipate. It’s like investing in emotional travel. And who doesn’t want to collect extra stamps on their passport through life?
Asking “Why?” on a First Date Actually Works
Let me say this bluntly: y’all need to stop treating first dates like job interviews. You know the checklist approach—“What do you do for work?” followed by “Where’d you go to school?” and “…tell me about your five-year plan.” I mean, c’mon. We’re not hiring them to be our life partners; we’re trying to connect!
A few years ago, I went out with a woman who flipped the script entirely. She started with, “What’s the weirdest thing about you that most people don’t know right away?” Safe to say, I was floored. It caught me off guard in the best way. I told her I collect vintage jazz records but haven’t owned a record player since 2016. She cracked up—and then went on a tangent about how her granddad had old Miles Davis bootlegs stashed in his basement. Suddenly, we weren’t strangers in a restaurant—we were two people knee-deep in nostalgia over vinyl and family stories.
When you let curiosity guide the conversation, the vibe shifts. Instead of just swapping biographical stats, you’re mining for golden moments of connection. Ask the “why” or “how” behind the obvious stuff. Why do they love hiking so much? How did they pick up their favorite hobby? Curiosity leads to context—and context is where real chemistry grows.
From Paris Streets to Homebound Love Stories
Here’s a little secret: Nothing sharpens your curiosity like being a newcomer in a strange city. When I spent a semester in Paris during college, I wandered everywhere—not just the touristy spots but the tucked-away alleys with corner bookstores and bistros. One day, I stumbled into a blues bar near the Seine during an afternoon walk. (Yes, blues. In Paris. The world is weird like that.) It wasn’t even on the map—just a handwritten chalkboard outside. Intrigued, I walked in, sat at the bar, and got talking to the owner.
Turns out, he was from Mississippi and had moved there decades earlier for love. He missed collard greens from home but said France had replaced that with buttery coq au vin and “good wine all the time.” By the end of the day, he not only shared his story but gave me advice about finding my center through love and creativity. That moment stayed with me, not just because of the wisdom but because curiosity gave me access to it.
We often romanticize “grand gestures” in relationships, but sometimes, the best ideas come from small acts of curiosity—whether it’s exploring your partner’s unusual interests or finding out the “why” behind their quirks. Who knows? You might just find yourself playing backup harmonica at an open mic night.
Everyday Curiosity = A Healthier Relationship
If you think curiosity is only essential for first impressions or grand adventures, you’re underestimating its power. Curiosity is the ongoing practice of discovering something new about the same person—and honestly, that’s what keeps love alive.
I watched my parents master this growing up. My dad always asked my mom questions—from how she picked the books she assigned her students to whether she thought Superman could beat Batman in a fistfight. (Her answer? “Batman, because guile is king.” Respect.) Small, seemingly random questions became these tiny windows into each other’s minds, giving them new places to explore together. They never stopped dating, even after two decades of marriage.
The same applies to you. Don’t just ask questions—they’re a dime a dozen. Be interested. Genuine curiosity fuels intimacy. It’s asking yourself, “What else can I learn about this person I already love?” Whether you’ve been together two months or two decades, curiosity keeps things fresh—like adding unexpected spices to a favorite dish.
Practical Curiosity Tips You Can Actually Use
Feeling inspired but not sure how to hone your curiosity muscles? Start with these low-pressure ideas:
- Try getting excited about what you don’t know. Don’t know much about plants, astrology, or stand-up comedy? Let your partner (or friend) play expert. The shared learning process can be oddly bonding.
- Turn “What do you like?” into “Why do you like it?” Example: Don’t just note that someone loves horror movies—dig into why they find them thrilling instead of terrifying.
- Say yes once a week. Whether it’s a game night you’re skeptical of or a new fusion restaurant you’re side-eyeing, let your curiosity lead the way.
- Listen like it’s a mixtape, not a podcast. Too many people listen just to respond, but curiosity means vibing with what someone says, like it’s a melody you haven’t fully caught onto yet.
Why Curiosity Will ALWAYS Lead You Somewhere
Here’s the truth: Curiosity doesn’t guarantee everything will be successful or fun. Sometimes, you’ll waltz into a bad poetry reading or eat calamari only to realize mid-bite it’s definitely not for you. (Pro tip?: Always ask what you’re eating.) But even curiosity “fails” teach you something—about your tastes, about boundaries, or sometimes about who you want to be.
More importantly, staying curious makes you open to connection in ways most of us rarely allow ourselves to be. It softens the armor we wear in this hyper-curated, “cancel at the first red flag” dating world we live in. So treat curiosity like a compass. You don’t need to know exactly where it’s taking you—just trust that it’ll get you closer to something worth discovering.
And hey, you might even find someone along the way who wants to wander right alongside you. Now, that’s an adventure worth having.
