Living Between Worlds
Caught In-Between: Why Dualities Are Equal Parts Thrilling and Exhausting
There’s something oddly exhilarating about living a life in dualities. It’s like being bilingual—except instead of switching between languages, you’re toggling between different parts of your identity. You’re not fully “this,” but you’re not quite “that” either. You’re just floating somewhere in the middle, liminal and ever-evolving. It’s a life not unlike that scene in The Princess Diaries where Anne Hathaway’s character has one foot on the dock and the other on a moving boat. It’s as thrilling as it is awkward, but hey, at least you’re along for the ride.
As someone who grew up in a cultural melting pot like Austin, I’ve spent most of my life bouncing between worlds. Professionally, I split my time between my “serious, purposeful” nonprofit life and the more freewheeling world of online writing. Personally, I’ve inhabited both grassroots feminist spaces and the world of friends who derive joy debating Austin’s best breakfast tacos. Even romantically, I’ve learned to navigate the dualities of dating as a fiercely independent person who still craves meaningful connection.
But regardless of where your dualities arise, the constant flux can be both liberating and completely exhausting. It sharpens your ability to adapt but can also leave you completely over-analyzing whether you’re ever "enough" in either space. Here’s what I’ve learned about navigating that in-between territory with grace, humor, and (mostly) minimal existential angst.
Embrace the And, Not the Or
Living between worlds often puts pressure on you to “choose a camp.” In dating, people constantly ask if I’m the laid-back indie-music type or more of a goal-driven professional. In family life, there are conversations about whether I should “stay true to my roots” or fully embrace new cultures and ideas I’ve grown into. Ultimately, it’s not about picking one or the other—you’re allowed to be both. It’s about embracing your multifaceted self like the five-dimensional prism you are.
Example: I once dated someone who was super outdoorsy, and every weekend was spent camping, hiking, or attempting to kayak without capsizing. (Spoiler: I capsized.) At first, I worried that my love of niche museum exhibits or coffeehouse poetry readings didn’t vibe with his earthier pursuits. But instead of trying to mold myself into “one type,” I learned to acknowledge both sides of me. It’s okay to high-five a tree after a good hike and dive down a rabbit hole on feminist criticism.
Takeaway? Let yourself surprise people—and yourself. You’re not a two-dimensional character in the rom-com of your life; you’re the multi-hyphenate main character, and that’s the magic of duality.
Laugh at the Contradictions
Listen, being a walking irony can either make you want to rip your hair out or laugh. I highly recommend the laughing route. The more you embrace the contradictions, the less stressful it feels balancing two (or more) worlds.
For instance, my weekday persona is very Type A—color-coded calendars, monthly nonprofit board reviews, the whole spiel. But come Friday night? You’ll find me in jeans with paint splatters, attempting to make pottery. If my coworkers caught wind of the fact that I’ve been trying to hand-make vases that end up looking like sad, hollow pumpkins? I’d never live it down, and they’d laugh too. But I’ve learned to find humor in those moments of overlap—and, truthfully, it’s a great icebreaker on dates.
When you stop taking yourself so seriously, you also invite others to do the same. It flips tension into connection. Case in point: That kayaking capsizing story from before? Instant date story gold.
Pro tip: When a moment feels too ridiculous—like you’re trying to shuttle between two versions of yourself in one afternoon—just picture what your rom-com soundtrack would be (cue the dramatic strings as your pottery-self clashes with your CEO-esque morning meeting). Comedy will save you every time.
Set the Rules for Your Own Space
One of my biggest lessons in navigating dualities is realizing you don’t have to fit into anyone’s pre-existing box. Create your own space—a space where your contradictions aren’t just allowed but celebrated.
In dating, for example, I learned that I work best with partners who understand and appreciate that I’m constantly balancing multiple identities. I’m thoughtful and intentional in planning out our first few dates, but sometimes, I’m just going to need time to completely shut off and recharge on my couch with (shh) guilty-pleasure reality TV. (Love Island is my kryptonite. Don’t @ me.)
This applies to relationships but also to friendships, work-life balance, and even hobbies. You don’t have to explain or justify why you’ve combined two seemingly opposite passions or priorities into your life.
Actionable tip: If someone critiques you for “being all over the place,” it’s more of a reflection of their inability to keep up—not your character flaw. Remember this: As long as you’re intentional with what you bring into your world, it’s your world to build.
The Perks of Swimming in the Grey Area
Here’s the thing nobody tells you about dualities—the grey area is where all the good stuff happens. Duality inherently makes you adaptive, empathetic, and curious. It forces you to see multiple perspectives instead of clinging rigidly to one worldview.
For example, I once dated a startup guy who lived and died by the motto “move fast and break things” while I was still deeply entrenched in nonprofit ideals of patience and community building. At first glance, our approaches couldn’t have been more different, but what I learned was that those differences could complement one another. He encouraged me to take more risks—and, in return, I taught him how competing priorities could actually coexist harmoniously.
Living between worlds gives you the agency to step back and see what actually matters to you. Sure, there are moments where living that layered life feels chaotic—like forgetting you skipped happy hour prep to write about cultural inclusivity instead (oops). But there are more moments where you realize the richness of being multi-faceted is worth the juggling act.
The Confidence to Stay Unapologetically You
It took me years to feel totally confident balancing my own personal tension points. And there are still days where I wonder if one half of me might someday eclipse the other or if I’ll ever fall squarely into one neat category. But I’ve learned to embrace that uncertainty.
The truth is this: Life isn’t a black-and-white movie—it’s a kaleidoscope of contradictions, color, messiness, and ever-evolving dimensions. And that’s what makes it beautiful.
So, if you’re navigating dualities in your own life—whether cultural, professional, or romantic—take heart. You don’t have to have it all figured out, and you definitely don’t have to follow anyone else’s script. Revel in the fact that you belong where you are, because of your beautifully complex layers, not in spite of them.
And if all else fails? Remember this: The Anne Hathaway dock scene works out fine in the end.
