Ever found yourself at the crossroads of “meh” and “what if?” That tiny itch to explore, to ask just one more question, or to turn left instead of right—that’s curiosity. And in my experience, it’s the one thing that’s made life (and relationships) infinitely more interesting. Like the time I tagged along for a silent disco night after a friend promised “it’s not as weird as it sounds” or impulsively spent a semester in Spain just because I wanted to know if Catalan really did sound like a mash-up of French and Spanish (it doesn’t—it’s its own symphony). Some of my best stories started with one tiny, unassuming question: “What’s over there?”

Curiosity isn’t just reserved for philosophers or people who spend way too much time on Wikipedia rabbit holes; it’s a superpower we all have access to. And when it comes to relationships? Curiosity is the unsung hero that keeps things fresh, builds connection, and occasionally leads to some hilariously awkward moments. Let’s dive in.

Curiosity Is The Ultimate Icebreaker

I’ll never forget my first date with Marco. We met at a vintage flea market in Austin, the kind of place where you can find anything from a mint condition Bowie vinyl to a taxidermy raccoon wearing sunglasses. I spotted him testing out an antique ukulele (zero musical talent, by the way), and when he mentioned he’d always wanted to learn, I jokingly said, “You know they have classes just for that, right?”

Instead of laughing it off, he asked, “Do you play?” Just like that, we were off on a tangent about childhood piano lessons, dreams of starting unrealistic punk bands, and whether tambourines count as real instruments. That one question launched a two-hour conversation that eventually led to dinner—and a relationship that lasted long enough for me to confirm, yes, tambourines are kind of valid.

Curiosity isn’t magic—it’s just showing interest in someone else's world. Next time you’re on a date, ditch the standard “What do you do for work?” script. Instead, try questions like:

  • “What hobby have you always wanted to try but never had the chance?”
  • “If you could time travel to any historical moment, where would you go?”
  • “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever Googled?”

Curious questions lead to authentic answers, and who doesn’t want that?

Getting Comfortable With the Uncomfortable

If you’ve ever been in an argument with a partner, you know how quickly things can spiral into an infinite loop of “I’m right, you’re wrong.” But curiosity? It’s the antidote to defensiveness. Asking “Why do you feel that way?” or “What do you need from me right now?” might sound like relationship catnip for therapists (and it is), but hear me out—it works.

Case in point: One night, my now-partner and I were debating something ridiculous. I think it started as a discussion about pineapple on pizza, but eventually morphed into a broader debate on culinary “rules.” Tempers flared. Sighs were sighed. But instead of digging my heels in, I asked something totally random: “What’s the craziest thing you actually enjoy eating?”

His face lit up. We ended up in stitches over his love affair with mayo-and-banana sandwiches (yep, that’s a thing), and it completely diffused the weird tension between us. Sometimes curiosity allows you to zoom out, shift perspective, and, in some cases, realize the argument isn’t a hill worth dying on.

Little pro tip: Next time you feel yourself bracing for conflict, pause and ask. Even if you’re already 100% sure you’re “right,” let that feeling take a backseat. Curiosity has a way of revealing what’s really beneath the surface—and trust me, it’s always more useful than being crowned the winner of the pineapple debate.

Curiosity Keeps Routine From Feeling… Well, Routine

Here’s the thing: long-term relationships are comfortable. They’re warm blankets on a cold day, no-shower Sundays, the satisfying rhythm of knowing someone as well as you know yourself. But comfort can also turn into autopilot, and one day you’ll realize you’ve ordered takeout from the same three spots for six months straight. (Guilty.)

Enter curiosity, stage left. The other weekend, I decided to surprise my partner by recreating a Catalonian recipe I learned while living in Barcelona—pa amb tomàquet (literally just bread with tomato, but trust me, it slaps). While smushing garlic into crusty bread and reminiscing about my semester abroad, we ended up on a whole tirade about other ways we’d like to revisit our favorite cities without leaving Texas. Did you know there’s a German brewery in Hill Country that recreates Oktoberfest-level vibes? Neither did I, but guess what’s on our calendar next weekend?

When relationships settle into predictability, curiosity is the cheat code to refresh the page. Try this: - Sign up for an activity neither of you have ever done (trapeze class? cooking class? goat yoga?). - Explore your own city like a tourist for the day. (Pro tip: Pick a cultural festival; they’re endless wells of joy and awkward dancing opportunities.) - Ask your partner what they wish you’d try that you haven’t yet. (Just... be ready for answers like, “watch Lord of the Rings with me.”)

Why Curiosity = Self-Discovery

Alright, confession time: This one’s personal. I’ve always been the kind of person who thrives on curiosity—exploring, learning, figuring out how people tick. But for a long time, I aimed all that curiosity outward. I’d dive into my partner’s passions (like running, even though my idea of cardio is chasing an escaped dog at Zilker Park) or immerse myself completely in friends’ interests (beekeeping workshops, anyone?). I rarely paused to ask: What am I curious about?

Spoiler alert: This kind of chasing made me feel a little…well, lost. Rediscovering my own curiosity meant reconnecting with things I loved and letting myself explore just for me. It started small—taking a free museum tour in town and signing up for an indie zine-making class—and snowballed into a bigger realization: when I gave space to be curious about myself, I could show up better for the people around me.

Curiosity reminds you that you’re always evolving, and how incredibly freeing is that? You’re supposed to have questions about yourself. Curiosity keeps you growing instead of stagnating, which, at the end of the day, makes you a better partner, friend, and person.

Wrapping It All Up: Stay Curious

Curiosity isn’t complicated—it’s a choice. It’s stepping out of your comfort zone just enough to reach for something new, whether that’s asking someone about their weirdest phobia (why is everyone afraid of clowns?) or embracing your own itch to learn salsa dancing even when you have two left feet. When we let curiosity drive the bus, magic tends to happen.

So go ahead—ask the question. Take the detour. Recreate the snack your grandma used to make, no matter how odd it sounds. Because whether it’s building bridges in a relationship or rediscovering yourself, curiosity is what turns the ordinary into the extraordinary. Trust me, the view’s better from over here.