We were all that kid at one point—the one asking relentless questions like “Why is the sky blue?” or “Do fish sleep?” Our guardians would humor us until they reached their limit, offering distracted “because it just is” answers. Curiosity was currency back then, and we spent it freely, poking into mysteries, turning over rocks, and chasing fireflies because “What happens if I…?” was our guiding principle. Somewhere along the line, though, adulthood nudged curiosity out to make room for predictability. But here’s the thing: staying curious isn’t just for kids or Jeopardy contestants. It’s a secret sauce for relationships, self-discovery, and—dare I say it—joy.

Whenever I think of how curiosity still leads me to unexpected, wonderful places, I immediately flash back to the day I met my partner. I know, I know—cue the rom-com soundtrack—but bear with me, because this isn’t your typical “girl meets boy over artisanal coffee” storyline.

A Cup of Coffee and a Dash of Uncertainty

Picture me, twenty-something Ebony, finally carving out a moment of peace one afternoon in Austin’s busiest coffee shop (shoutout to that overpriced lavender latte I still dream about). I wasn’t there for networking or socializing; my mission was singular: escape and revise a stubborn chapter of my manuscript before my writing workshop ate me alive.

Enter: a very peculiar man sitting entirely too close. He had this sense of focused curiosity—scrolling his phone like he was on the verge of cracking the last code in the Da Vinci series. It was distracting, sure, but what caught me off guard was when he finally blurted out, “Hey, random question: How do you feel about pineapple on pizza?”

Now, I could’ve done what most of us grown-ups would: blink politely, give a one-word answer, and go back to work. But something in me paused. Maybe it was the absurdity of the question. Maybe it was because I’d just been going on 27 hours without quality conversation.

I smiled, set my laptop aside, and launched into a passionate monologue about the underrated genius of sweet-and-savory pairings. His response was equally animated, and suddenly, I was swept into a conversation that zipped from toppings to travel to childhood memories. Had I shut him down, I wouldn’t have spent that afternoon laughing until my face hurt—or discovered someone who’d later become a cornerstone in my life.

Curiosity Breeds Connection

Whether it’s pineapple-related or not, being open to new ideas and perspectives is the heart of meaningful connection. The beauty of curiosity in our relationships—romantic or otherwise—is that it pushes us to ask better questions and listen more intently. Do you know your best friend’s weirdest childhood fear? Have you ever asked your partner what moment in their life made them feel truly alive? These questions may seem small, but they go deeper than “how was your day,” and their answers can crack open entirely new dimensions of understanding.

Let me illustrate this point with humor: I once dated a guy who owned twelve—yes, TWELVE—succulents. It’s practically a personality trait. On our second date, I asked, “What’s it like keeping them alive?” intending to make a sarcastic joke about how I usually kill plants within three business days. His enthusiastic response wasn’t what I expected; in fact, he launched into a TED Talk on plant maintenance and resiliency (complete with pro tips about watering schedules). I learned about the calming joy he found in his “micro garden,” which turned an otherwise surface-level dinner date into something much more layered: we talked about growth—not just plant growth but emotional growth, too. Folks, sometimes you just have to let the man explain his succulents.

The Real-World Perks of an Open Mind

Curiosity doesn’t just keep us relationally richer; it’s a downright life hack:

  • Keeps Things Fresh: Routine might be comforting, but it’s not exactly sexy. Discovering a new hiking trail together or signing up for a salsa-dancing class keeps the spark alive.
  • Improves Your EQ (Emotional Quotient): Being curious about how others feel rather than assuming is a game-changer. Ask, “How did that experience affect you?” instead of defaulting to solutions or indifference.
  • Prevents Assumptions: Relationships can often crumble under the weight of unspoken assumptions. A question as simple as, “What do you need from me today?” can diffuse tension and replace guesswork with clarity.

Say Hello to Your Inner “Yes, And…”

If there’s one thing improv comedy teaches us (besides avoiding aggressive audience participation), it’s this: never shut a scene down. When someone says, “Let’s pretend we’re penguins dismantling IKEA furniture,” you’re supposed to roll with it: “Yes, and I think the instructions are clearly written in Swedishtonian!” Similarly in life, curiosity feeds off our willingness to keep the proverbial scene alive. The joy lies in being open to trying, failing, repeating, and occasionally thriving.

Years ago, a friend convinced me—kicking and screaming, mind you—to try rock climbing. Look, I don’t exactly exude “athletic outdoorswoman” vibes. But she caught me in a rare mood where “Why not?” seemed just compelling enough. Flash-forward two hours—after initial awkwardness and sweaty, unflattering grip struggles—and I reached the top of my first route. It wasn’t Everest, but I was hooked. To this day, climbing remains one of my favorite stress-relievers, all because somebody nudged me toward an adventurous unknown.

Let Your Curiosity Be Contagious

Curiosity is magnetic. When you embrace it fully, people start gravitating toward you, and honestly, it’s because being inquisitive makes you fun. Imagine you’re at a party, no longer dreading small talk because you’ve adopted a new skill: curiosity-inciting questions. Instead of the bland, “So, what do you do for work?” try “What’s something you started recently that you’re surprisingly really into?” Watch how quickly the conversation shifts from autopilot to “Wow, no one’s ever asked me that before!”

Curiosity creates space—a space where people feel safe to share, explore, and be seen. And isn’t that what we all crave? Whether we’re wading through first-date jitters, navigating a decades-old marriage, or rekindling a friendship, showing genuine interest in someone else’s world is the ultimate superpower.

The Takeaway

Here’s the charge, friends: Be the person who says, “Tell me more about that.” The one who’s not afraid to ask the bold or silly questions. Start conversations that tumble down rabbit holes. Explore books, cuisines, languages, hobbies—anything and everything that lights your brain on fire. Don’t just glimpse at the world through a keyhole—swing the door wide open.

You never know when a random question (even one about pizza toppings) could lead you to the love of your life, your next big adventure, or simply a moment of joy in your daily grind. So go ahead—be curious. I promise, it’s one of the few lifelong habits that’ll never, ever let you down.