I used to think of travel as an escape. An easy way to detach from the everyday and dive headlong into the new and thrilling. But the more places I’ve explored—both familiar and far from the beaten path—the more I’ve realized that travel isn’t about running away at all. Instead, it’s about turning inward. It’s about shaking up your surroundings just enough to see yourself more clearly. Whether I was rambling through the soggy trails of Olympic National Park in Washington or getting hopelessly lost in Sedona (pro tip: don’t trust trailhead signage alone), travel has given me a cheat sheet to understanding myself—and maybe even my relationships.
Sure, it’s not always smooth. I’m here to tell you that nothing reveals your inner neuroses like missing a connecting flight while carrying a bag of warm burritos. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way.
1. I’m Not as Chill as I Think I Am (And That’s Okay)
Growing up in Boulder, “chill” is practically stamped into your DNA. It’s the land of communal yoga studios and sunrise coffee hikes, after all. So, naturally, when I set out on a trip, I imagine myself as a carefree explorer. Patagonia-clad, beaming with unshakable serenity.
Reality check: within 45 minutes of delayed departure screens, I am a full-on anxious gremlin. Take one harrowing Pacific Northwest road trip, for example. A GPS hiccup left me and a now-ex-partner stuck on a gravel road in the middle of timber land with a dwindling gas tank. My brain quickly spiraled into a mini-internal apocalypse: Was there cell service? Bears? WERE BEARS TRACKING US?!
But here’s the thing: my pretend version of chill isn’t helpful. True self-awareness is. No one is unshakably calm all the time, and I’ve learned to let myself off the hook. Sure, the stress might flare when things go wrong, but once I recognize it (and try not to snap at anyone nearby), I can recalibrate. Surrender to the moment. Also: keep extra snacks in the car. Always. Stress-eating a granola bar is a secret superpower.
2. Getting Lost Teaches You Who You Are When No One’s Watching
I’ve been lost more times than I can count. Once, en route to a friend’s New Mexico wedding, I made a disastrous side trip—wandering into what someone nonchalantly called “a shortcut” but was really a maze of dusty Forest Service roads.
Much like life, losing your way while traveling is both panic-inducing and freeing. There’s no map for who you’re supposed to be when no one’s looking—no one to ask, “Does this take me to the reception or to an existential crisis?” (Spoiler: it was both.)
Every missed turn forces a reckoning: What do you prioritize in the messiness? Are you the type to laugh it off? Cry a little? Look on the bright side or double down on rage at the GPS app? It’s not about being perfect. It's about understanding how you act when the script falls apart. And let me tell you, asking for help or pulling over instead of stubbornly forging ahead—it’s humbling but worth it.
3. Nature Speaks Louder Than Netflix—and It’s Worth Listening
I’ve spent more nights camping under the stars than I can count (Boulder kid habits die hard). But traveling somewhere completely unfamiliar shifts that experience into high-definition Technicolor. Places like Olympic National Park, with its lush, moss-cloaked rainforests dripping in secretive mystery, remind me of something vital: the world is huge, I am small, and that’s a beautiful thing.
Out there, away from screens and comfort zones, I’ve had some of the clearest moments of self-reflection. Like the time I spent two days hiking solo in Zion, questioning why I’d clung to the security of certain relationships back home. (Newsflash: codependence feels heavier than a trekking pack sometimes.)
If you ever need to quiet the noise in your head, go stare at an alpine lake or an ancient cactus. It’s better than therapy. Or at least cheaper than therapy.
4. Shared Travel Can Reveal Relationship Dynamics You Didn’t Expect
Want a fast-pass to finding out whether you’re compatible with someone? Travel with them. It doesn’t matter if it’s a weekend road trip or an international adventure—travel unveils relationship truths you might otherwise miss in the glow of dinner dates and movie marathons.
Take Seattle: when I moved there for a fellowship, I didn’t know a soul, except for one promising would-be flame from a dating app. What followed was a weekend of aimless wandering up Capitol Hill and frantic debates over how much time we needed for ferry rides to Bainbridge Island. While we had a good laugh about me tripping over a curb (smooth as ever), I quickly realized that our communication styles were... under construction. He coasted on spontaneity while I clung to structure, like a turtle hanging onto the last functional piece of its shell. Cute for Instagram pics, tough when juggling ferry schedules.
Long story short, sometimes travel can highlight differences in pace, problem-solving, and patience. The good news? Travel also teaches you if you can work through those differences—or if it’s better to part ways. (Spoiler: we parted ways. Ferry boy was not for me.)
5. There’s No Room for Ego (But You’ll Pack It Anyway)
If my early 20s travel persona could’ve been summed up in one gif, it’d be Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation saying, “I know more than you.” That year, a guy I’d dated briefly mocked my choice to carry maps AND use Google offline directions. Unbothered, I declared myself a travel genius. (Let me have this one. The guy once got stranded in an IKEA, so...)
Fast forward to an ill-planned trek in Bryce Canyon, where I insisted we “didn’t need tourist advice” and ended up near heat exhaustion on a poorly marked side trail. The lesson? Ego is heavy—and travel will humble you, whether you like it or not.
When I go somewhere new now, I throw out as many assumptions as possible. I’ll take locals’ suggestions, listen to other people’s priorities, and adapt plans as challenges arise. It’s a lesson in flexibility—and realizing my original plans are not sacred.
6. Home Isn’t Just a Place—It’s Who You Are on the Journey
After all the mountains I’ve climbed and highways I’ve traversed, the best thing I’ve learned from travel is this: no matter where you roam, you can be “home” in yourself. That doesn’t mean you’ll always feel like the confident star of your own rom-com montage while sipping coffee in a Parisian café (though, if you manage that, please share your secrets). Being “home” in yourself is about carrying a sense of self-compassion in all places—even when you’re a mess.
Travel pushes you to redefine comfort zones and grapple with your reflex responses to unplanned speed bumps. But those lessons don’t disappear when you get back. They stick to you, like dirt on your hiking boots or fond memories of shared meals in roadside diners. I may not always know where I’m going, but thanks to travel, I know who I am when I get there.
So, the next time you’re packing up for an adventure, think of it as packing a mirror. Every trip, in some small way, teaches you something new about yourself. Admire the reflection, flaws and all. Oh, and don’t forget to pack the snacks. Trust me on this one.
