Living Between Worlds

It starts innocently enough. You're at brunch with friends, attempting to answer a seemingly simple question: “So… what’s your type?” Before you can open your mouth, your brain glitches like a scratched CD (if anyone even remembers what that sounds like). Are they asking about physical appearance? Values? Career ambition? And should you mention your crush on the barista with the perfect forearms or skip straight to Neil, the software engineer whose memes dominate your DMs?

Welcome to the inner monologue of living between worlds. Sometimes, that in-between space is cultural—straddling traditions or expectations that seem at odds. Other times, it’s about reconciling your upbringing with your current worldview or, frankly, balancing the cool, collected persona you project on a second date with the fact that you’ve watched Bridgerton twice just for the Duke’s smolder. Sound familiar? Let’s unpack.

Chapter 1: The Culture Code Switch

Having grown up in Dallas, I know all too well what it means to be in two worlds at once. My upbringing was a mix of Southern charm and private-school polish—think debutante balls one weekend and pop-up soul food cookouts the next. One moment I was curtsying in white gloves, and the next, I was ankle-deep in the dirt at a Juneteenth festival, scarfing down a slice of sweet potato pie that’d make your grandma weep.

Dating within this duality comes with its hurdles. Bring a date to a fancy gala, and you're decoding unfamiliar etiquette ("Wait, which fork is the salad one?"). Take that same person to a family reunion, and they're hit with the reality that your aunts don’t believe in whispering or surface-level questions. (“So when are y’all getting married?” gets thrown out at hour two.)

The lesson? Balance is everything. The beauty of living between cultures is that you get to pick the parts you love. You're allowed to curate your life, just like you curate your dating preferences. Sure, I’m not taking anyone to a honky-tonk bar anytime soon, and I no longer feel obligated to downplay how big Thanksgiving gets in my family. Subtlety, much like my Aunt Dorothy, just isn’t our vibe.

Chapter 2: Embracing (and Explaining) Your Duality

Striking a balance between worlds—whether personal or cultural—can feel like walking on a tightrope… in stilettos. For every success (like introducing a date to both your love for book clubs and salsa dancing), there are facepalm-worthy failures. Case in point: the time I cooked a “fusion” dinner for a partner, only to discover that lobster mac and cheese does not pair well with Caribbean curry goat.

The key to navigating duality in relationships? Embrace what makes you different but get really, really good at the "Here’s Who I Am, Take It Or Leave It” speech. Your quirks aren’t quirks; they’re experiences that shaped you. Sure, my Spotify playlist goes from Nina Simone to Megan Thee Stallion in under three minutes, and yes, I consider buttered cornbread a personality trait. Any worthy partner needs to roll with it—or at least respect it.

When I casually explain my tradition of Sunday morning church service followed by football and barbecue, I frame it with humor and honesty: "Listen, if you can cheer louder for the Cowboys than my uncle can, you’re in.” Showing someone how you straddle different worlds doesn’t mean oversimplifying it for their comfort. It’s about saying, “This is how I thrive—care to join me?”

Chapter 3: The Double Booked Dater

Straddling professional worlds has its comedic moments too. I once accepted a date invitation addressed to "Ms. Lancaster" because they’d seen my writing for a women’s empowerment panel. By dessert, I realized my polished career persona had convinced them I was nothing but NPR podcasts and serious bookshelves (neither of which are untrue, but they’re only half the story).

When dating in a world where your LinkedIn achievements sometimes introduce you before you do, duality management becomes survival 101. Be proud of your ambition, but don't let anyone reduce you to it. Most people appreciate a full spectrum—think powerhouse essays and a secret meme-sharing addiction, strong opinions and an outrageously good impression of Cardi B when no one’s watching.

If you’re navigating layers of personal identity, don’t feel the need to “flatten” them for date one. My strategy? Let a little mystery play out, but ultimately lean in. “Yeah, I write speeches for a living. Want to hear what one would sound like if I also included Beyonce references after every applause line?”

TL;DR: Two worlds are great, but three margaritas call for the whole truth.

Chapter 4: Turning Duality into an Asset

Once, while on a second date, I jokingly said I “wear a lot of hats,” to which my date replied, “Then wear 'em! No one loves a lukewarm person." It stuck with me because living between worlds doesn’t have to result in watered-down versions of ourselves. It’s about showing up as the blend that only you can be.

  • Learn the Art of the Pivot: Ever find yourself nerding out about something niche (like my overzealous TED Talk about Zora Neale Hurston)? If I sense glazed eyes mid-rant, I slide into something relatable: “But don’t worry, I’m still down for a Marvel marathon!”
  • Make Space for Their World Too: Duality works both ways. They love vintage cars? Cool. I’d never driven stick shift until last year, but now I know enough to fake it at a car show. Life’s too short not to have mutual exchange.
  • Find the Uplifting Parts of the Struggle: The beauty of duality in dating means you essentially speak more than one “language.” I can grab tacos at a gas station one date and navigate fine dining the next—not because it’s performative, but because it feels natural. The same applies emotionally: living between worlds teaches adaptability, curiosity, and respect.

Final Thoughts: Own Your Blend

Living between worlds can feel a little awkward, like being a bilingual translator at a big family dinner—you'll never fully belong to either camp some days. But honestly, blending your experiences makes you a beautiful anomaly. When it comes to your relationships, that’s one of your greatest strengths.

So, here’s my unapologetic takeaway: You don’t have to "pick a side"—not in dating, love, or life. Be the person who knows every Drake lyric and reads Octavia Butler on weekends. Show the world you’re proud of your Southern manners and your city-slicker sarcasm. Whatever your blend is, it’s yours. Wear it with pride. And if you find someone who can match your energy from flirt to familiar? Darling, you’ve struck gold.