The Things I Can’t Live Without

1. My Moleskine Notebook: The Mind’s Museum
There’s a quote by Georgia O’Keeffe that goes, “I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way.” My Moleskine notebook is where I say the things I can’t say to anyone else—half-finished thoughts, snippets of overheard conversations, sketches of future daydreams. It’s equal parts diary and treasure map, guiding me through the tangled maze of my mind.

I started the habit during grad school in Oxford, where carrying a notebook was less a practicality and more a survival tool. When you’re wandering between 13th-century libraries and coffee shops where Tolkien casually named his hobbits, thoughts fly at you like pigeons in Trafalgar Square (persistent, messy, oddly poetic). My Moleskine caught them all.

On a more romantic note, it’s kind of my dating failsafe—or, shall I say, an old-school Hinge profile in disguise. More than once, it’s inspired a potential suitor to lean over during a cafe date and ask, “What are you writing?” It’s also the perfect litmus test: if they dismiss my notebook as pretentious, the bill arrives immediately.

Takeaway? Never underestimate the power of carrying a personal artifact like this. It’s not just a conversation starter—it’s your creativity’s pocket-sized wingman.

2. Red Lipstick: The Original Power Move
If you told me as a teenager that one day I’d wax poetic about makeup, I’d have rolled my eyes and gone back to silently judging people at modernist sculpture exhibits. But here’s the thing: red lipstick is transformative. Slide it on, and suddenly you aren’t just you—you’re a more fearless, unapologetic version of you.

For me, it started with Yves Saint Laurent’s Rouge Pur Couture in a shade called “Le Rouge.” Clichéd? Probably. Effective? Absolutely. I first wore it during a summer in the South of France when one half-glass of Châteauneuf-du-Pape inspired me to test the whole “French women don’t overthink bold choices” mantra. Turns out, they’re right. Red lipstick is like a cheat code for confidence—it made me bolder stepping into galleries, negotiating with stubborn dealers, or, yes, even flirting (trust me, it helps when you’re trying to not blush while blushing).

The lesson? Find your bold. It might be a lipstick, or maybe it’s an accessory, a scent, or a particular pair of beloved shoes. Whatever it is, own it like it’s your personal exclamation point.

3. Degas-Inspired Ballet Flats: Art in Motion
Picture me, an art student fresh out of university, utterly broke from buying second-row opera tickets but determined to match my aesthetic with my ideals. That’s when I stumbled upon ballet flats. Inspired by Degas' impeccable ballerinas—with their soft leather slippers that seemed to blend grace and grit—I invested in my first pair from Repetto. And that was it: I was smitten.

Now, don’t expect me to break into a pirouette midway through brunch (though I’m not ruling it out after mimosas). These flats embody something deeper—walking through life with subtlety and purpose. They’ve taken me everywhere: from candlelit museums in Florence, to first dates on cobblestone streets in the West Village, to lazy mornings spent pacing my apartment, trying to figure out how to text someone back without vilifying my own dignity.

Between stilettos (thrilling but exhausting) and sneakers (practical but uninspired), the ballet flat is the romantic middle ground. A little firm, a little flexible, and always standing gracefully—but never rigid. Sort of the perfect metaphor for navigating love, don’t you think?

4. Jazz Vinyl: Atmosphere that Swoons
Most people curate their dating playlists on Spotify, but I’m an old soul at heart—or maybe just technologically defective. I have a stash of jazz vinyl records that serve as my personal concert series, and trust me when I say Nina Simone and Ella Fitzgerald always, always set the mood right.

My parents were jazz enthusiasts, so I grew up waking to the smoky undertones of Bill Evans drifting through our apartment. As a teenager, I swore I’d rebel and discover whatever the opposite of jazz was (electronic remixes? Death metal?). Spoiler: I didn’t. When I moved to London, I packed just the essentials—clothes, books, and my trusty portable record player. There’s something intimate about placing a record on the turntable and hearing it hiss to life. It’s the sonic equivalent of candlelight.

You don’t need vinyl to craft atmosphere, but you do need to curate the sounds of your life, especially in love. Whether it’s jazz, 90s R&B throwbacks, or indie-folk tracks, your playlist communicates more than you’d think.

5. Fresh Peonies: Love in Bloom
Peonies are easily the diva of the floral world. They bloom fast, spiral out of control into a lush, extravagant display, and then peter out with a soft, nostalgic sigh. Doesn’t that sound like love?

I keep fresh peonies around not just because they’re gorgeous (though they are) but as a reminder: beauty isn’t permanent, and neither are intense emotional moments. Whether it’s the giddiness of a first date or the bittersweet realization that an amazing dinner companion isn’t “the one,” the transient nature of relationships reminds me to savor life’s blooms while they last.

Pro tip: Flowers, especially peonies, are more than décor—they’re a gesture. Buy them for yourself. Bring them to a date. Or, if things get serious, introduce the tradition of leaving a single bouquet at random for no significant reason. Trust me, this small habit alters how you both experience time together.

6. Matcha Latte Rituals: Grounds for Clarity
I like to think of matcha lattes as the introverted cousin of coffee. Where coffee says, “Go! Run! Emails! Deadlines!” matcha whispers, “Take a deep breath. Everything can wait a minute.”

My mornings aren’t complete without one. I learned the ritual while visiting Kyoto: whisking the powder until it froths, waiting for the milk to steam perfectly. Sure, there are easier morning routines (looking at you, canned cold brew), but there’s something almost meditative in the process. It’s an act of focus that grounds me before launching into the unpredictable chaos of New York life.

When it comes to dating and relationships, I’ve found the same principle applies—slowing down the rush of it all is crucial. The world might say, “Text back immediately!” but sometimes, you need to step back and breathe. The latte simply reminds me of that.

7. A Book I’ve Read a Dozen Times
If you’ve ever re-read a novel at different stages in your life, you know how transformative it can be. For me, it’s Edith Wharton’s The Age of Innocence. Is it packed with drama, unspoken desire, and societal expectations? Yes. But more importantly, its layers change every time I revisit it. What once felt like a tragedy now feels like an intricate chess game played with grace and restraint.

This is my go-to for long flights, rainy Sunday afternoons, and heartbreak recovery sessions. If all else fails, books remind us that our problems, however unique they feel, are often versions of timeless human dilemmas.

And for those in relationships? Gift your partner a book you love and annotate it with your thoughts. It’s like giving them the spark notes to your soul.

Conclusion: Essentials, Connections, and Curations
I keep these seven essentials close not just because they add beauty or practicality to my life, but because they remind me of who I am—the blend of whimsy, boldness, and quiet reflection that defines me. They’re touchstones.

In love, as in life, the things we carry say so much about who we are. So, do a little inventory. What are your essentials? What sparks your joy, fuels your creativity, or helps you navigate the modern dating labyrinth? Maybe it’s a lipstick, a favorite song, a good book—or something uniquely, wonderfully yours. Whatever they are, never let go of the things that make you, you.