Ever been on a date where they ask, "So, what does your name mean?" and suddenly you’re doing mental somersaults trying to remember if your parents picked it because it “sounded nice” or if you’re supposed to be the living embodiment of ancient Viking valor? Names are weird that way—they’re both this everyday thing we don’t think about and a cornerstone of who we are. They say a lot, even when they don’t.

Growing up as Jackson Harcourt, I never put much stock into names. I was born a Harcourt because my granddad moved west to cowboy his way into a better life. My first name? My parents picked it because they liked the way "Jackson Harcourt" rolled off the tongue—like the name of someone destined to write sweeping novels or maybe the guy giving horse-riding lessons at the local dude ranch. (Spoiler: I’ve been both.) But over the years, I started asking myself if the whole son-of-Jackson-Hole thing was too on the nose. After all, when your name sounds like a postcard and you’re literally raised on the backdrop of a mountain range, you start questioning if you’re some walking Hallmark commercial.

But then came the part where I wrestled with what it all means—how our names shape identity and what that has to do with dating, relationships, or showing up as your truest self. Stick around; we’re going to unpack it.

Show Me Your Name, I’ll Show You Who You Are

There’s an old cowboy saying—well, at least my dad said it enough times to feel old—that the name you make for yourself matters far more than the one you’re handed. And yet, the name you’re handed is often where meeting someone starts. Think about it: whether it’s on a name tag, an email signature, or whispered in the flicker of candlelight during a first date, it sets the scene. A name is an introduction, a handshake, an identity all rolled into a handful of syllables.

Your name isn’t just a word. It’s shorthand for the first impression someone has of you. Studies have even suggested that names influence everything from hireability to likability (hey, blame humans and their cognitive biases). But when it comes to dating and relationships, it’s less about whether your name is biblical, trendy, or straight out of Westeros and more about how it jives with who you are.

For example, I’ve always appreciated when a date points out the obvious: “Wow, your name’s Jackson, from Jackson Hole. That’s poetic.” (Fair.) It gives me a chance to tell stories of growing up chasing runaway calves and sketching mule deer along rugged mountain trails. Names are springboards for connection—not just in how they sound, but how you own them in your stories.

The Name Game (And Why You’re Winning It)

Alright, let’s get this straight: you don’t need a Shakespearean moniker or a quirky spelling to make an impact in relationships. What matters is making your name mean something. Here's how to lean into that:

1. Wear It with Pride (Even If You Don’t Love It)
Not everyone’s lucky enough to have a name that feels perfectly “them.” Maybe yours came attached to family baggage or the sudden inspiration your parents had in the hospital parking lot. If that’s your reality, don’t shy away from it. Own the quirks. Crack a joke. Say, “Yeah, my parents named me Athena because they thought I’d grow up to be wise—it’s still a work in progress.” Vulnerability in how you talk about your name can also tell someone that you’re genuine.

2. Find the Story In Your Name
Even the most average-sounding name has a story. Maybe there’s a beloved grandparent or cultural tradition tied to it. Maybe it reflects the town you grew up in. Or maybe, like me, you’re just grateful you weren’t saddled with an embarrassing nickname from childhood (shoutout to my cousins, Bear and Cooter). Your name’s story—whether sentimental or playful—gives others a window into your history, and by extension, who you are.

3. Don’t Let Your Name Box You In
A name feels like destiny until you realize it’s not. Sure, growing up as a “Jackson” made me wonder if I should be out there carving historical legacies into sandstone, but instead, I’m here writing about relationships while occasionally wrangling feral emotions (and horses). Names are tools, not labels. They give others a first impression of you, but the rest of the work? That’s on you.

What Your Name Says About Dating & Relationships

Here’s where names get fun (and sneaky profound). They don’t just shape first impressions; they can shape how you think about yourself—and relationships thrive when we show up authentically as ourselves. If you’ve ever dated someone who shortened your name without permission (Hi, dating in your twenties!) or called you a nickname that made your skin crawl, you know what I’m talking about. Conversely, two people saying each other’s names in a moment of genuine connection can feel like being seen for the first time.

A name’s meaning isn’t fixed. It’s a conversation between you and the people in your life. Growing into how you feel about your name—whether it’s before the coffee date, after the 5th anniversary, or somewhere in between—is one of those weirdly relationship-centered things people don’t talk about enough. When someone understands and respects your name, it’s often a quiet way of saying, “Hey, I see you for you.”

Final Rope 'Round the Corral

By now, you’re probably thinking, “Cool story, Jax, but what am I supposed to do with this?” Fair question. Here’s what I’d say, whether you’re mulling over your first name, middle name, or that nickname they gave you in high school that you’re still trying to live down:

  • Lean into your name. It’s part of what makes you unique, even if it takes time to figure out how.
  • Let others like you more than your name. A perfect name doesn’t impress nearly as much as showing up confidently and being genuine.
  • Challenge your preconceptions. Whether it’s your own name or someone else’s, look past assumptions. The real person isn’t found in the letters, but in the quiet stories they share.

Labels—names, titles, the whole shebang—are just starting points. Your task is to make them meaningful, to own who you are without letting anyone slap their expectations on you. So, the next time someone asks about your name, don’t overthink it. Smile, lean back, and say, “Let me tell you a little story…”

After all, names have power. And much like relationships, their real magic comes out when you’re willing to embrace the ride.