What’s in a name? A lot, actually. Maybe it’s the one thing no algorithm, IRL or online, can swipe left on. Your name is your opener, your brand, your first shot at making an impression. And depending on what name you’ve been rocking since birth, that impression could land anywhere from timelessly evocative to “Oh... that’s... interesting.” Don’t worry, though—this isn’t a roast. This is a celebration of names: where they come from, what they say about us, and how they shape identity, especially when it comes to making deeper connections.

Let me tell you a little about mine.

Section 1: “Is that French?” – The DeAndre Origin Story

If you’ve spent any time on the South Side of Chicago, you’ve probably met at least three DeAndres, a DeShawn, and their cousin JaQuan by lunchtime. I grew up thinking my name was as ordinary as a streetlight. “DeAndre,” derived from André (of French and Greek origin), technically means “manly.” Funny, right? Because as a slightly awkward middle-schooler hoping to ace his spelling bee, “manly” wasn’t exactly my defining vibe.

I’d like to say the name shaped me into the cool, Miles Davis-level smooth adult I am today, but nah—it wasn’t that linear. Instead, the journey of my name has been more like jazz: improvisation that took its sweet time to hit the right notes.

Growing up, my mom—an English teacher and lover of literature—would remind me that the hyphenated, imaginative soul of Black names tells a story of cultural creativity. “Your name carries history,” she’d say, referencing how we, as a people, reclaimed identity post-enslavement. And my dad? A Chicago CTA bus driver? He was a simple man who loved hearing his passengers call me “Junior” because that name, too, represented legacy. So my ‘DeAndre’ sat at the intersection of generational pride and neighborhood survival.

Every name tells a story of a community—its echoes, triumphs, and resilience. And beginning to see this made me rethink something crucial…

Section 2: Don’t Play Your Name Small

So, let’s talk identity. For years, I kept my name “on mute” in spaces where I thought it wouldn’t be understood. Job interviews? “Andre is fine.” Starbucks? Definitely a fake “David” order because explaining the spelling? Exhausting. But there’s something weird about intentionally softening the edges of yourself. It doesn’t fit, like wearing skinny jeans from the wrong section.

Especially when it comes to relationships—from casual first dates to deeper connections—your name is a doorway. Whether it’s classic, rare, hyphenated, or colloquially misunderstood (“La-a” pronounced LaDASH-a, anyone?), the way you carry it says everything about how you see yourself. Do you diminish it or use it to stand proudly?

For example, I once dated someone who actively renamed me in her phone. “D,” she said with a shrug. “Easier that way.” EASIER FOR WHO, GIRL?? To me, losing two syllables wasn’t just practical—it was erasure. Names are intimacy; they’re intentionality. If someone you’re seeing doesn’t respect your name? It might be time to swipe left on them.

Section 3: The Dating Power of Owning Your Name

You know what’s magnetic? Confidence. And confidence starts with how you introduce yourself, no matter the stakes. Whether it’s through an old-school blind date (remember those?) or meeting someone at that concert your friend dragged you to (#ReluctantWingmanLife), the first time someone hears your name sets the tone for everything to come.

Want to make your name work for you? Try this:
- Tell the Story: Sharing your name’s origin is like gifting the other person a bite-sized autobiography. For instance, on one date, when I mentioned my mom named me “DeAndre” because she thought it sounded strong but also musical (it does, doesn’t it?), it opened up this genuine conversation about jazz music, legacy, and our wildest childhood dreams. Forget bios—stories stick!
- Wear It Proudly: If you find yourself apologizing or self-deprecating about your name, stop it. Right now. Whether your name’s as common as Michael or as unique as Zendaya, you deserve the same whole-hearted respect. Besides, nothing’s sexier than someone who says their name like it’s a lyric they’ve had stuck in their head for hours.
- Respect Theirs, Too: Whether they go by Richard or Rick, Jennifer or Jen, always respect how someone else chooses to represent themselves. But while you’re at it, don’t call someone “baby” too soon (unless you’re this generation’s Marvin Gaye… spoiler: you’re not). Take the time to get it right—it shows you’re paying attention.

Section 4: Pop Culture and Name Games

Look, names have weight. Ask Beyoncé (cue 2003 hit: “Say My Name”). People care about being addressed correctly, but they also care about standing out in the right way. Too often, though, folks get caught up in whether their name is “cool enough” or Insta-worthy. But the real magic happens when your name is more than a trend—when it’s distinct enough to spark curiosity but grounded enough to feel approachable.

Think Claire, Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club—basic, but still iconic. Or Lupita, as in Nyong’o, dripping with beauty and sophistication but unafraid to tell her story. There’s allure in a name that feels unapologetically you, pop culture references be damned.

So embrace your Zacharyary (we see you, love) or confidently flex your culturally nuanced gem. After all, Tiffany Haddish wouldn’t Tiffany the way she does if she second-guessed her shine, right?

Section 5: When Names Are Love Languages

Here’s the thing: in a relationship, names hold power. Not just romantic pet names like “Babe” or “Honey Boo” (ugh), but your actual name. How someone takes the time to use it—and really know it—builds a foundation of respect.

I’ll never forget the moment I knew one relationship wasn’t for me. I’d been dating someone for about five months when I realized she was still misspelling “DeAndre” in text messages. “Wait, there’s an E at the end?” she asked, casually butchering my very soul. Call me sensitive, but to me, that missed detail was flag #812. A name is sacred. It’s the least a partner should get right.

When someone uses your name with care—whether in a playful whisper or during a disagreement (“DeAndre, I swear!”)—it affirms your individuality even as you unite as a team. The subtext says: I see you. And honestly, what’s more “relationship goals” than that?

Conclusion: Your Name, But Make It Legendary

So here’s your takeaway: your name isn’t just a label. It’s poetry. It’s jazz. It’s soul. It’s an elevator pitch, an invitation, and a declaration that says, “This is who I am.” Your name deserves to be honored, spoken with intention, and treated as a cornerstone of your identity.

No matter how awkward, tricky, or unique it is, your name’s story—its origins, its mispronunciations, its revelations—is your story. Don’t shrink it. Love it. And if you’re lucky, you might meet someone who loves it just as much as you do.

Because in the end, the right people? They’ll never ask you to be Jennifer if you were always born to be DeAndre.