It started in a snowstorm—the kind of Wyoming blizzard where snowflakes hit you sideways, and the wind makes you question all your life decisions. I had just come off a long stint as a park ranger in Grand Teton National Park, where solitude was an occupational hazard but also, frankly, my comfort zone. I was good at being alone, almost proud of it. But that particular snowstorm, with its violently poetic gusts, made me realize something: solitude is peaceful until it’s not. I wasn’t just alone—I was lonely.

So, I decided to make a big change. Or rather, I thought I’d make a big change. Truth is, I started with something small: I committed to saying “yes” to one new thing each week. That’s the habit that saved me—one simple “yes” at a time.

The Lost Art of Saying Yes

Let me tell you, saying “yes” sounds a lot easier than it is, especially if you’re someone like me—someone who prefers fly-fishing to happy hour and old Hank Williams tracks to making small talk in crowded rooms. My instinct when faced with new plans? A hard pass. My inner monologue could’ve been scripted by that scene in Friends where Chandler says, “Could I be any less interested?”

But as the weeks rolled on, I realized “yes” wasn’t about saying yes to everything. It was about stretching slightly outside my comfort zone, not diving headfirst into the things I couldn’t stand. Think of it like sourdough bread—good things take time to rise, and patience is key.

Baby Steps, Big Ripple Effects

The first “yes” was simple. A co-worker invited me to movie night, and instead of my canned “Can’t—early morning hike” excuse, I muttered, “Sure, why not?” That felt like a gargantuan leap in my social evolution. I didn’t sparkle in conversation, but I laughed along, realized I kind of enjoyed myself, and made a mental note: People weren’t so bad after all.

From there, I nodded along to a climbing lesson I wasn’t sure I needed, let my neighbors rope me into a chili cook-off (note: never let ranchers underestimate your spice tolerance), and joined a local writing circle that made my scribbles feel a little less lonely. These were small moments, half an hour here, an hour there, but, slowly, they added up. Things expanded—friendships deepened, and as a bonus, I stopped treating social invites like an aggressive form of torture.

Benefits Beyond My Wildest Wyoming Horizon

One overlooked byproduct of my “yes” habit? Relationships—both romantic and non. Picture this: you’re clutching half a cup of terrible chili with some possibly expired sour cream, and a stranger strikes up a conversation. You laugh, swap stories about ill-fated camping trips, and suddenly, there’s a spark (the good kind). Saying “yes” opens doors, even if those doors are tucked into less-than-glamorous venues like a potluck in rural Wyoming.

Here’s what else I learned through that one-year journey:

1. Saying Yes Shifts Your Perspective

Once you stop defaulting to no, you realize just how much you’ve been limiting yourself. That weekly art class you joined? Turns out, painting isn’t just for Pinterest enthusiasts—it’s also for rugged outdoorsy types who hate being indoors but love a challenge.

2. It Creates Opportunities Without Pressure

Not every “yes” leads to an earth-shattering moment, and that’s fine. Some “yeses” are filler episodes in your life’s sitcom, necessary to keep the show running. But others? Others sneak up on you, like the time I met someone fascinating during a rock-climbing workshop and thought, “Wow. Is this going somewhere?”

3. It Teaches You to Be Present

When you’re committed to saying yes, you agonize less over hypothetical “what-ifs” and focus more on turning up. This might sound suspiciously like mindfulness, which it is. Except instead of meditating on top of a cushion, you’re shivering next to a bonfire, realizing shared discomfort is as bonding as shared joy.

Practical Ways to Say Yes (Even When You Want to Run)

If the thought of saying yes to something—anything—gives you heart palpitations, you’re not alone. But don’t worry, you don’t need to overhaul your existence. A few practical tips helped me stick to the habit without spiraling into overwhelm, so here’s how you can, too:

  • Start Small. Choose one new thing a week. It could be as simple as meeting a friend for coffee somewhere new or attending a local event for 30 minutes. No mountaineering required.

  • Prioritize What’s Appealing. If you hate crowds, don’t force yourself into a concert. If public speaking feels like jail time, don’t sign up for karaoke. The goal is to stretch, not snap.

  • Bring a Friend as a Safety Net. Having a buddy in tow can make trying something new feel more approachable. Pro tip: bribe them with snacks if needed.

  • Remember, It’s A Practice. This isn’t a willpower contest—it’s okay to decline when a “yes” really feels like a bad fit. The point is to break the habit of turning down every opportunity without thinking.

  • Track Your Wins. Save mental snapshots of what went well. Did you laugh so hard your cheeks hurt at trivia night? High-five someone at a 5K? Your inner skeptic will thank you when future “yeses” come calling.

The Romance of Saying Yes

While I could wrap this entire story in my love of personal growth, the spark of romance was an undeniable subplot. As someone who grew up preferring the company of mule deer over people (wildlife doesn’t ghost you, after all), I’d been skeptical about meeting someone who matched my quirks and rhythms.

But lo and behold, there she was. A painter who loved the mountains, who wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty—or call me out when I dodged plans. We met at a nature workshop because, naturally, I’d said “yes.” What started with a random conversation about the best ways to outrun an irritated moose turned into hiking dates, campfire chats, and more shared yeses. Turns out, romance doesn’t need grand gestures; you just need to show up.

Closing Thoughts

Saying yes won’t solve every problem in your life, but it might nudge a few solutions your way while you’re paying attention to something else. For me, it carved a path out of loneliness, strengthened bonds with friends old and new, and sprinkled my life with experiences (and people) I wouldn’t trade for anything.

So, the next time someone invites you to an event, even one that sounds slightly left-of-center to your comfort zone, consider saying yes. It might not spark a grand romance or change your life overnight, but hey, you might walk away with a great story—or at least some questionable chili.