Whenever I sit down to think about my life’s soundtrack, something magical happens. The songs that come to mind aren’t just background noise—they’re timestamps, mood markers, little sticky notes that remind me of exactly where I was, who I was with, and, occasionally, who I needed to move on from. Some songs bring the subtle ache of a first crush, others the triumph of finally figuring out that yes, I absolutely deserve better (thanks, Solange).

Music frames my story, and I suspect it frames yours, too. That’s the beauty of a great playlist—it doesn’t just set a vibe; it becomes a mirror reflecting your journey. So, grab your headphones, and let’s dive into what my soundtrack has taught me about life and love. Spoiler alert: it’s soulful, complex, and occasionally features Beyoncé.

Act I: The Roots – Songs My Grandmother Sang

Key track: "A Change Is Gonna Come" – Sam Cooke

Growing up in Charleston, Sundays were non-negotiable. Church in the morning, sweet tea on the porch, and my grandmother humming whatever hymn stuck with her. But it wasn’t all gospel; sometimes, she’d slip into Sam Cooke or Otis Redding with a wistful sigh, as if the songs were tucked into her memory like pressed flowers in a Bible.

Those soul-heavy melodies taught me early on that music isn’t just for fun—it’s how we process the weight of the world. When I faced my first heartbreak? There was Grandma’s voice in my head: “Trouble don’t last always, baby. But you play that Sam Cooke if you need to cry it out.” And believe me, I did.

From the wisdom passed down in lyrics, I learned the power of persistence. Life, love, and the pursuit of a decent first date require patience and faith in tomorrow. Sometimes, you just have to channel your inner Sam Cooke and remind yourself: a change is gonna come.

Act II: College Daze and Mixtape Phases

Key track: "Prototype" – OutKast

Atlanta was a whole mood, y’all. Spelman, the late-night Waffle House runs, and an emotional rotation of mixtapes burned by friends (and, occasionally, flames). When I first heard André 3000 croon “I hope that you’re the one,” I was 19, still defining myself, and fully convinced that yes, I was probably someone’s prototype.

These years were full of possibilities but also trial and error. There’s nothing like a dorm room conversation (set to the gentle hum of Jill Scott or Erykah Badu) to force you to confront all your idealistic notions of love. College love wasn’t polished; it was messy, frequently interrupted by late-night texts like, “You up?” or “wyd?”

And while my relationships back then didn’t always last, they taught me a valuable lesson: your favorite songs may never skip, but relationships sure do. Sometimes folks just aren’t ready for the playlist you’re curating. Know when to hit skip—and don’t let anyone borrow your OutKast vinyl, for goodness’ sake.

Act III: The New York Hustle

Key track: "Empire State of Mind" – Alicia Keys & Jay-Z

When I moved to New York for grad school, I took Charleston and Atlanta with me in my heart—and in my playlists, naturally. But New York slapped a layer of confidence on my music. Suddenly, I wasn’t just wistfully humming; I was strutting through the Lower East Side as if my student loan debt didn’t exist.

The city was exhilarating but humbling. I found myself blasting Alicia Keys’ soaring vocals on Empire State of Mind while revising papers at 2 a.m., hustling at internships, and getting overly invested in Bumble dates (yes, I know I said no dating app stories, but c’mon—we were all doing it). New York is like a bootcamp for adulting, where every moment teaches you to own your space—even if you have to fight for it in a crowded subway car.

Here’s what I’ll say: there’s no better hype song than a New York anthem. Whether you’re walking into an awkward work meeting or walking away from someone who “just isn’t looking for a relationship right now,” having a power track ready to go is your secret weapon.

Act IV: Dancing Through Life’s Meh Moments

Key track: "Crazy in Love" – Beyoncé

Now, if my life were a movie, every high point would kick off with a dramatic drop of Crazy in Love—horns blaring, heels clicking, wind machine in full effect. But real life is often more “meh in love” than wildly glamorous. The honeymoon phase fades, the routine sets in, and suddenly you’re arguing about where to order takeout on a Friday night.

Don’t get me wrong—I’ve had some head-over-heels moments of romance. But as Beyoncé herself taught me with her Lemonade album, love isn’t always picture-perfect. It’s raw, evolving, and sometimes downright ridiculous (case in point: the time my then-boyfriend sincerely tried to serenade me with Boyz II Men over Zoom during the pandemic to apologize for forgetting my birthday).

Music has taught me to keep dancing, even when the steps aren’t choreographed. Whether your “crazy in love” moment involves sweeping gestures or a quiet night on the couch, the melody of your life doesn’t stop. Keep moving, even if it’s just a two-step in your living room.

Building Your Soundtrack

So, how do you take all this musical inspiration and put it to use? Whether you’re recharging after a breakup or curating a vibe for your next big date, here are some practical ways to build your own soundtrack to life:

  • Mix the Old with the New: Pair a classic (think Aretha Franklin) with something fresh (like H.E.R. or SZA). Love is timeless, and your playlist can be, too.

  • Pick Your Theme Song: What’s the track that makes you feel unstoppable? Start your week with it—the confidence boost will carry you through awkward meetings and subpar coffee dates.

  • Create a “Scream, Then Heal” List: Every heartbreak deserves its moment. Scream-cry to Alanis Morissette or Adele, then let Lizzo or Megan Thee Stallion pick you back up.

  • Celebrate Small Wins: Did you finally ask out your crush? Or master the art of not texting back an ex? Cue up Pharrell’s Happy or your feel-good anthem of choice and throw yourself an imaginary parade.

The Final Note

So, what’s the soundtrack that defines your story? Maybe it’s a mix of Marvin Gaye, Frank Ocean, and Taylor Swift, or maybe it’s just one perfect song you keep coming back to. Whatever your vibe, don’t underestimate the power of a good playlist. It’s not just music; it’s your partner through heartbreaks, glow-ups, and all the wonderfully messy in-betweens.

And if the love of your life hasn’t shown up yet, don’t sweat it. Turn the music up louder, pour yourself a glass of something sweet, and remember: it’s your dance floor. Everyone else is just lucky to be on it.