“Sometimes, it takes someone else to hold up a mirror to show us who we truly are—and what we’re capable of becoming.” That’s a lovely thought, isn’t it? But when I was 22, fresh out of university and wallowing in self-doubt, it felt more like a Pinterest quote I'd scoff at while eating stale empanadas in my too-small Santiago apartment. Until, unexpectedly, someone held up that mirror for me.
Let me tell you about the person who saw me and, unknowingly, flipped my life upside down (in the best way possible).
A Coffee Shop and a Crisis
It wasn’t exactly my plan to meet a stranger who would change my trajectory forever. In fact, I had only planned to drink three cortados in quick succession while furiously editing a term paper that refused to cooperate. I was in a small café off Bellavista—one of those places that insist on stacking old typewriters as décor, presumably to lure in struggling creative types like myself.
That’s where I met her. Teresa. She wasn’t a mentor in the typical sense. She didn’t wear tweed, nor did she spout inspirational quotes about chasing dreams. She was a journalist—chaotic, sharp-witted, and unapologetic. She wore mismatched earrings and carried the sort of giant tote bag that could probably hold a small llama. She spotted me drowning in caffeine and self-pity, and before I knew it, she’d slid into the chair across from me like we were old friends.
“Let me guess, literature major?” she said, smirking. I nodded.
“Ah, the gloss of Neruda today, the gloom of poor job prospects tomorrow.”
The Mirror Moment
Over the next couple of hours—and another cup of coffee I definitely didn’t need—it turned out Teresa was moonlighting as a career changemaker. Okay, not officially, but she had this uncanny knack for zeroing in on what made people tick.
She asked me blunt but surprisingly disarming questions: “What’s stopping you from writing full-time?” I stammered something about how I wasn’t good enough, how Santiago felt like a small pond, and how stability seemed like a faraway country I was hesitant to visit.
Her response? A hurricane of laughter and these exact words:
“If you keep waiting to be perfect, Carmen, you’ll die waiting. Write badly. Write boldly. But WRITE.”
The thing is, those words weren’t revelatory to the point of shaking the sky or summoning doves to descend (although I wouldn’t have minded a little cinematic flair). But it was the way she said them—like she had peered into the parts of myself I tried to hide and saw the messy, slightly neurotic potential lingering there.
Seeing Through Someone Else’s Eyes
Teresa became an unintentional mentor over the years. She pushed me to apply for a writing grant in Madrid, which I got. She encouraged me to submit one of my painfully personal essays to a local journal, which, much to my shock, got published. She called out my excuses with the precision of someone who had undoubtedly used the same ones herself.
But maybe most importantly, she helped me see what I struggled to on my own: I wasn’t afraid of failure; I was afraid of visibility. Afraid of being seen for who I truly was—a storyteller, a dreamer, someone for whom words were both a lifeline and a compass.
Lessons for the Rest of Us
Not everyone will have a Teresa sitting across from them in a café, nor will they get life-altering advice over roasted coffee beans. But that doesn’t mean you can’t give yourself the same kind of mirror moment. Here’s what I learned from mine:
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Find the Listener, Not the Lecturer
The person who truly “sees” you won’t lecture you on five-year plans or bark motivational clichés. They’ll listen. They’ll nudge you toward courage, not perfection. And sometimes, that person might even be a stranger. -
Own What Comes Naturally
What do people often compliment you on or ask for your advice about? Teresa saw my writing talent long before I had the nerve to own it. Sometimes, others spot our gifts before we do because we’ve normalized them in our own lives. -
Fear Can Be a Good Compass
That jittery, oh-no-I’m-about-to-die panic you feel about doing something new or brave? That’s usually where the magic happens. Teresa taught me that it wasn’t my flaws holding me back—it was my fear of screwing up while people watched. -
Seek Out the “Disruptors” in Your Life
Change doesn’t come from the friend who always agrees with you or the colleague who nods politely at your half-formed ideas. Look for the ones who challenge your perspective, ask uncomfortable questions, or lovingly force you to rethink your limits.
A Life Rewritten
People love to say, “The rest is history,” but in my case, “the rest” was a lot of late nights writing mediocre essays, moving to Madrid with more suitcases than money, and learning to navigate a place where my Chilean slang landed with a thud. It wasn’t glamorous, and Instagram probably wouldn’t have approved. But little by little, I started to show up as the person Teresa always believed I could be.
And here’s what I’ve come to realize: Sometimes, what we need is just one person to help us see ourselves more clearly—to call us out in that warm, no-nonsense way, like someone who’s had just enough coffee to tell the truth.
Final Takeaway
If you’re feeling like no one sees you and your potential, don’t wait for perfect clarity. Start seeking out the conversations that make you uncomfortable but curious. Find the people who challenge you just enough to stir that strange mix of terror and inspiration in your chest. Most importantly, take a leap before you convince yourself the net doesn’t exist.
After all, the person who will change your life might already be sitting across from you—or perhaps, they’re waiting for you to be that person for yourself.
