The first time someone called me by my full name, Celeste Alexandra Harrington—no shortening, no nicknames—was in the sprawling shadow of my childhood home in Savannah. I was seven, and it was my dad who said it, delivering it with the kind of theatrical gravitas reserved for improperly aligned picture frames or my brother’s attempts to “redesign” his fort using duct tape. Yet, there was something about the way those syllables fell one after the other that stayed with me: that mix of celestial wonder (Celeste!) and Downton Abbey formality (Alexandra Harrington). I remember standing a little straighter, as if my name had unlocked something in me.

Names, as it turns out, are more than just what people yell when your Postmates order is ready. They carry histories, aspirations, and occasionally, the baggage of an entire family tree you didn’t ask for. They’re the music of who we are—or at the very least, the prelude that sets the tone.

Your Name Tells a Story (Even If It Starts With a Mispronunciation)

Unless your parents chose something deliciously easy to pronounce, odds are you’ve had to correct someone’s interpretation of your name at least once. Maybe you’re a Sean (“seen”) forever haunted by substitute teachers, or perhaps you’re like my good high school friend Chassity, who’s perpetually explaining, “No, not Chastity. It’s like Cassidy but with flair.” Even my own name, derived from the Latin word for ‘heavenly,’ has been twisted into "Cel-Esty" or oddly, "Celeste with a hard K."

But every misstep is part of the story. I used to bristle at these tiny butcherings, feeling like they peeled back the layers of the elegance I wanted my name to exude. Over time, though, I began to see them differently—tiny badges of identity that made my name mine. It wasn’t just the string of sounds tied to stars and Southern pedigree; it was how I wielded it, how it stood strong under someone else’s clumsy care.

Maybe you feel the same about yours. Did your parents name you after pop royalty (hello, Britney), a beloved grandparent (ah, the Carol genes), or because they read “baby name meanings” websites in 12-hour shifts until they landed on something that “felt right?” Who we are starts in the delicate act of naming, but it doesn’t end there.

Dating, With a Side of Name Anxiety

Nothing quite twists the knife of name insecurity like the dating world. Whether it’s meeting someone who inevitably abbreviates your name before you’ve granted them the privilege (why yes, “Celes” is a thing I’ve endured) or matching with someone and immediately side-googling their oddly spelled first name in a futile effort to decode their personality, names are a quirky battleground in relationships.

First dates are often a playground for name-induced banter. Imagine strolling along River Street in Savannah, hearing some version of, “You look more like a Melissa to me,” to which you have to smile politely instead of spinning into a rage spiral: I AM NOT A MELISSA, SIR.

But what’s in a name, anyway? Sometimes, everything. I once dated a man who refused to use my full name, only calling me “Cels.” It started innocently enough but quickly devolved into feeling as though “Celeste” was somehow inconvenient, cumbersome, or, heaven forbid, unworthy of all its glorious three syllables. A word of advice: if someone doesn’t respect your name, how on earth will they respect the rest of you?

Reclaiming the Song of Who You Are

Here’s the thing: names are meant to evolve with us. Sure, I started as Little Celeste, my curls bouncing as I ran through azalea-lined gardens. But I've since been Celeste the Artist, Celeste the Over-Eager Romantic, and Celeste Who Knows Every Secret of a Savannah Ghost Tour Guide. Each phase of life changes the melody but keeps the heart of the song intact.

Feel like you’ve outgrown your name? You’re not alone. Plenty of people bend and shape theirs to better reflect the version of themselves they’ve become. Maybe you’ve adopted a middle name for flair or pared your name down to something sleek and modern—hello, “Lani,” formerly Mililani. No judgment, only admiration.

If your name feels foreign, I have one suggestion: dive into its roots. Look up its origins, daydream about its history. For me, understanding the “heavenly” origins of Celeste lit up a little corner of myself I didn’t know needed light. My middle name, Alexandra, turned out to mean “defender of the people,” imbuing my title with a quiet strength that wouldn’t stand for anything less. Yes, even “Harrington,” solid and stately as a columned Southern mansion, reminds me to stand firm, chin tilted ever so slightly toward eternity.

How to Amplify Your Name’s Music

If you find yourself struggling to connect with your name—or simply curious about carrying it forward with intention—here’s where to start:

  • Lean Into Its History: Do you know where your name comes from? Researching its origins, cultural ties, or even its past representation in history can transform what once felt like a label into a poetic thread in your personal tapestry.
  • Celebrate Nicknames (The Right Ones): Your name is not “free game,” but the right nickname—organic and filled with affection—can feel like a crescendo in a symphony. If a partner coins a nickname you love, wear it proudly. (Unless it’s as uninspired as “Babe.” Then we need to talk.)
  • Correct With Confidence: When someone mispronounces or forgets your name, take it as an opportunity. Politely but firmly tell them how you prefer to be addressed. This isn’t about arrogance; it’s about asserting your presence in the room.
  • Personalize It in Love: Within relationships, names become their own language: whispered across pillows, shrieked when someone finds a cockroach in the bathroom, written in wedding invitations. Embrace the intimacy that comes with someone lovingly adapting your name to suit the moments they share with you.
  • Develop a Name Ritual: Whether it’s signing your first name in looping cursive every morning on your coffee order, reciting your full name before a tough meeting, or writing it in the sand on a weekend beach trip, let yourself encounter its beauty regularly.

A Name That Lingers

At its core, your name is the OG soundtrack to your life. It opens every introduction, signs every love letter, and stamps itself across your journey in ways big and small. Don’t worry if you’re still figuring out how yours fits—it’s okay to grow into it like a too-big coat or wear it out at the elbows until it carries the well-loved grace of something truly yours.

Wherever you take your name next, make sure it sings true. Whether you’re Celeste Alexandra Harrington, Defending People With Southern Charm, or Alex, Bike Messenger Extraordinaire, remember this simple truth: your name is always more than the sum of its letters.