Have you ever noticed how curiosity can feel like falling in love? Both are exhilarating, a little scary, and prone to disastrous outcomes if not handled with care. But handled well? That’s when the magic happens. Whether it’s asking someone a question that lingers in the air like a held breath or wandering into a bookstore corner you've never explored, curiosity has a way of opening doors you didn’t even know were there.

Growing up, I thought I’d live my whole life in my tidy suburb outside Tokyo. My world was orderly, predictable, filled with family meals where we talked about philosophy over bowls of miso soup and my mom’s beautifully crafted seasonal flower arrangements. It wasn’t until I accidentally joined the wrong club my first year in university—a diving club instead of the art collective I had planned for—that I had my first brush with the wild, wonderful possibilities curiosity can pull us into.

Spoiler alert: I’m a terrible diver. I spent half the time close to tears from cold water and bruises on my legs, but I met a woman named Akiko, whose stories about studying in Paris left me wondering what else was out there. That’s the thing about curiosity—it rarely delivers exactly what you think it will, but it always delivers something of value.

The First Step: Say Yes to Spontaneity

Curiosity and spontaneity are best friends. One doesn’t work well without the other, and together, they could land you in situations both awkward and amazing. I vividly remember going to a Ryuichi Sakamoto piano performance in Vancouver during my first year as a PhD student. It wasn’t planned; I simply saw an intriguing flyer at a café and felt an overwhelming need to go. Alone.

That night, the music completely dismantled me—the silent comfort of watching strangers cry over the same notes. After the performance, I wandered into a random noodle shop and ended up seated next to a couple who had met volunteering at an environmental group. Our subsequent lively debate about culture and eco-responsibility sparked a friendship and meaningful introductions that changed the direction of my academic research.

The takeaway? You’d be amazed how far a “why not?” can take you. Start saying yes to things that pique your interest. Even an unrelated event can trigger something meaningful and, dare I say, life-changing. That first step doesn’t need to be bold—it just needs to be taken.

Curiosity Sparks Connectivity in Relationships

Let’s talk about relationships for a moment. Imagine you’ve been dating someone for a few months. You know the basics: where they work, their favorite way to take eggs (scrambled with a side of toast, a classic), and their slight obsession with rewatching Parks and Recreation. Everything feels nice—comfortable. But here’s where curiosity steps in and says, “Nice isn’t enough.”

I once dated a man who claimed to dislike poetry. It became a puzzle I couldn’t resist solving. One evening, while walking past the Seine in Paris (I know, it sounds outrageously romantic, but we’d just had a fight over croissant etiquette of all things), I recited lines from Keats that echoed through my brain like a wish. He stopped abruptly, staring at the moon-lit river, before muttering sheepishly, “Okay, I like...that one.”

Our moment didn’t turn him into a poet, but it sparked deeper conversations—about what we thought we hated and why, about fears we hadn’t yet shared. Curiosity is one of the deepest acts of connection in any kind of relationship. It’s asking and listening. It’s discovering someone not as a linear character but as a full, beautiful contradiction.

If your relationship feels stuck, ask questions that go beyond “How was your day?” Try:
- “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but never did?”
- “What’s a memory that you keep coming back to?”

Sometimes the answers might be tender, other times so ridiculous you both end up laughing too hard to breathe (I once learned the guy I was seeing had competed in a high-stakes butter-churning contest as a kid—an image I will treasure forever).

Overcoming the Fear of Asking

Let me be honest: curiosity sometimes feels dangerous. It pushes you into discomfort. Was I terrified to ask the noted historian I idolized at a symposium in Kyoto to go for coffee? Absolutely. Did my palms sweat as I set up my first citywide flower delivery route idea for my mom’s struggling business when I was only sixteen? Oh, for sure. Did it work out both times? Yep.

Being curious doesn’t mean always being ready or unafraid. It simply means allowing yourself to ask. The worst that happens? You get shut down, redirected, or looked at weirdly—temporary bruises in the grand scheme of personal growth. However, if you lean in and take small risks, curiosity rewards you by making you braver over time.

Here’s a trick I’ve taught myself: If you’re scared to ask or try something, find the humor in it. Treat it as a game. What’s the worst-case scenario? The amount of delightful absurdities I’ve experienced from sheer trial-and-error (like the time I signed up for a pottery workshop and made what can only be described as a lopsided teacup that now holds my spare change) easily outweighs the occasional moments of flailing embarrassment.

Curiosity Goes Beyond “Small Talk”

Let’s banish “small talk” forever. It’s curiosity’s far less interesting cousin. Instead, why not treat every mundane interaction as a potential adventure? The next time you’re stuck in line for coffee—or waiting for your delayed train—try striking up a real conversation. People are endlessly fascinating if you ask them something unexpected.

Years ago, during an unbearably snowy day in Vancouver, I asked the barista what their favorite childhood toy was. Without looking up, they said, “A purple slinky. Once fell apart right as my Mom threw me a surprise birthday party.” For some reason, we both cracked up. That led to a much deeper talk, one that had me leaving the café with not just a warm drink in hand but a sense of human connection that lingered like a favorite song.

Instead of asking someone what they do for a living, try:
- “What’s the best meal you’ve ever eaten in your life?”
- “If you could live as any fictional character for a day, who would it be?”

You’ll never know where a moment like that might take you—maybe you'll leave exactly where you started, or maybe what begins as playful curiosity will lead to the person who becomes your new best friend, partner, or at least someone who makes your day feel a little less ordinary.

Stop Waiting to “Be Ready”

One last thought (in case I’m sounding a bit too much like a motivational poster about taking risks): You don’t have to be perfect or fully “ready” to let curiosity guide you. You don’t need to have anything figured out. Frankly, you don’t even need to be good at being curious right away.

The beauty of curiosity is that even the tiniest spark can change everything. Maybe it’ll be less life-altering and more small-scale, like finally signing up for that awkward-looking salsa class everyone tells you about. Or maybe it’ll be the first breadcrumb on a new life trajectory, one tiny yet impossibly vital “Why not?” at a time.

So go ahead. Try more. Ask more. Stumble your way through what fascinates you. Trust me when I say, as someone who has gotten lost in Paris with no map and accidentally tried to eat clay during an ancient ceramics demonstration, you will come away with the best stories. Or, at the very least, a very lopsided teacup.

Curiosity doesn't just make life bigger. It makes life yours.