Have you ever wandered through a new city, only to find it feels strangely like meeting someone on a blind date? That mix of nervous excitement, mild disorientation, and a slow unfolding of surprise? Travel has often had this effect on me—a sort of soul excavation disguised as sightseeing. I didn’t realize how much I’d learn about myself until I started leaving home. To be fair, you don’t grow up navigating chest-high snowdrifts and dodging cranky elk just to come undone in an airport security line, but trust me when I say travel has humbly shown me what I’m made of. (Spoiler: a lot of caffeine and a bit of stubborn grit.)
It turns out, packing a bag and heading somewhere unfamiliar isn’t just about soaking up new sights—it’s a mirror, held up to your quirks, strengths, and shortcomings. And, just like with relationships, the lessons stick with you, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Here’s what landing in new places has taught me about myself (and maybe a little about life too).
1. I’m Not as Patient as I Thought, and That’s Okay
Let me paint you a scene: me, standing in a rain-soaked Paris street, trying to order a baguette with rusty high school French. The line behind me was growing longer than a Yellowstone traffic jam in bear season, and the woman behind the counter gave me the kind of look you reserve for someone who's just asked if croissants come gluten-free.
What this moment taught me? I have limits to my patience, especially when I can’t control the situation. And here’s the kicker—it’s okay. Whether it’s attempting to decode foreign menus or waiting an hour for a late train (while a toddler screams nearby with Olympic-grade lung power), travel has forced me to face my own impatience, and then—here’s the twist—let it go. Not every moment is smooth; not every detour leads to perfection. But even in the chaos, there’s growth. And yes, eventually a baguette.
Takeaway: It’s good to know where your limits are. Travel will test them, relationships will too, and learning to laugh when things go sideways is often your saving grace.
2. I’m a Serial Overpacker—and So Are Most of Us in Life
If you’ve ever seen someone hauling a suitcase up cobblestone streets, weighed down like they’re moving across state lines, there’s a good chance it was me. My thought process while packing goes something like this: What if there’s a heatwave, but also snow? And what if I’m invited to a surprise wedding? Better bring that one fancy outfit. Cue me stuffing three pairs of boots into my bag for a weekend "just in case."
Here’s the truth no travel guide tells you: overpacking is just a metaphor for the baggage we carry every day—expectations, worries, backup plans we don’t really need. Travel has taught me to let go of all that—literally and figuratively. These days, I hit the road with carry-on essentials and a mindset that says, I can figure out the rest when I get there. Trust me, the same mental trimming applies to relationships. A lighter load makes for better adventures.
Takeaway: Whether it’s physical stuff or emotional baggage, if it’s weighing you down before you’ve even left the metaphorical gate, it’s worth rethinking.
3. I’m Braver Than I Give Myself Credit For
The first time I traveled solo, I felt like a cow wandering loose from the herd—unsure, exposed, and mildly terrified. Flashbacks from grade school group projects haunted me as I realized there was no “team” to lean on if things went wrong, and no backup map if Google gave out. I was on my own.
But the moments I worried about the most—navigating airports, making friends in hostels, wandering unfamiliar streets—ended up being the most rewarding. Turns out, I could trust myself more than I ever thought possible. Bravery, by the way, is rarely loud or showy. It’s booking the ticket, asking for directions, or trying a plate of something unidentifiable at a night market in Bangkok (pro tip: ask first—it’s not always chicken).
Takeaway: Bravery shows up in unexpected ways. And when you face fears on the road, you realize you can handle a lot more than what life or relationships throw your way.
4. Connection Transcends Language (and Awkwardness)
Growing up in Montana, most of my conversations were with horse trainers, wildlife officers, and the occasional stubborn cow. Traveling taught me a new language: gestures, expressions, and the art of finding connection without words.
Once, in a rural Italian village, I ended up sharing a bottle of wine with a group of strangers—none of us spoke the same language beyond a few “grazie” and “cheers”-equivalents. Yet, the laughter? Universal. We shared stories with hand gestures, drew maps of our hometowns on napkins, and bonded over a mutual distaste for mosquitoes. It reminded me that, when it comes to forming connections, authenticity and openness matter far more than perfect grammar or polished perfection.
If you’re wondering what this means in a dating context: vulnerability goes a long way. Even if you “mess up” (which you will), being genuine wins every time.
Takeaway: Connection thrives on curiosity and effort. Be brave enough to look a little silly—it just might lead to some unforgettable moments.
5. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out
I used to think travel—or life, really—was like a map. You plan the route, follow the directions, and arrive neatly at your destination. Simple, predictable. Turns out, every “plan” I’ve ever made has been unceremoniously vetoed by reality.
I once drove two hours out of the way to see an alpine lake, only to find it closed due to some very territorial mountain goats. At first, I felt crushed—two hours wasted! But as I turned the car around, I spotted a farmer selling wild huckleberries on the side of the road. Stopping to chat with her ended up being the highlight of my day.
What I’ve learned is this: life, like travel, rarely goes how you expect. But some of the best discoveries happen when you let go of the plan and lean into the moment. Relationships are much the same. Love isn’t always linear; sometimes, it’s messy, unexpected, and full of detours.
Takeaway: Relax. You might not end up where you planned, but where you land could be exactly what you needed.
Closing Thoughts
Here’s the thing: you don’t need a passport or a pile of frequent flyer miles to learn from travel. Even a weekend road trip can shake up your perspective and teach you something new about yourself (not to mention your tolerance for fast-food breakfasts).
Whether you’re boarding a plane or embarking on a new relationship, the uncertainty is where the magic lies. Pack light, tread bravely, and keep your heart—and your sense of humor—open to the unexpected. Because wherever you go, learning about yourself is the real adventure.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I left my map somewhere under three pairs of boots.
