It starts innocently enough: an oddly satisfying moment, a curious fascination that snowballs into a fully-fledged passion you can no longer deny. For some, it’s knitting scarves they’ll never wear. For others, it’s meticulously ranking every pizza in their ZIP code. For me? My slightly obsessive passion is horses—not just the undeniably majestic, mane-blowing-in-the-wind creatures themselves but everything they represent: commitment, patience, and the unspeakable joy of connection.

Now, before you roll your eyes and imagine me as some Disney Channel horse girl who gallops to class and writes tear-streaked odes to her animals in a hayloft (though, to be fair, I’ve come dangerously close to both), hear me out. My connection to horses has shaped not only how I view myself but also how I approach almost everything in life, including relationships. And yes, that might seem like a bit of a leap, but trust me—it’s all related. By the end of this, you might even develop a soft spot for my quirks or find some of your own mirrored back at you.

Obsession vs. Passion: What’s the Difference?

First, let’s clear something up. People like to throw around "obsession" when what they really mean is “something you give a lot of energy and attention to.” For me, horses aren’t just a weekend “oh, how quaint” hobby. They’ve been a lifelong compass. Growing up on a ranch near Bozeman, Montana, I was practically swaddled in the scent of hay and saddle leather. My parents’ horse-breeding operation wasn’t just the family business—it was our heartbeat.

But obsession, here, isn’t just about riding or memorizing every equine breed under the sun. It’s about the discipline and growth that comes with fully leaning into something you love. Horses demand everything from you—time, patience, consistency. They’re not going to let you half-show up, which, shockingly, is a lesson that translates pretty well to, say, showing up for someone in a relationship.

And as with any deeply loved hobby, there are the quirks. Mine include but are not limited to: knowing how to braid a horse’s tail in five minutes flat, getting oddly concerned about the weather (hoof problems are no joke), and occasionally translating my interpersonal relationships into horse terms. Oh, your coworker won’t stop talking about themselves in meetings? We call that “showing dominance” in herd behavior. It’s eerily accurate.

“Love Like You’re Training a Horse” (It’s Not as Weird as It Sounds)

Go with me here. Training a horse and forming a healthy relationship aren’t as different as you’d think. Both involve trust, communication, and understanding boundaries. A horse isn’t going to magically understand what you want just because you showed up—it takes time. You have to meet them where they are, not where you want them to be. Funny how that works in dating, too.

Some examples? Sure thing:

  • Learn Before You Leap: You’d never hop on a horse without knowing its temperament, history, and favorite snacks for bribery (okay, technically, snacks are optional). Similarly, in relationships, take the time to get to know your partner’s quirks and emotional terrain. Be curious. Be attentive. Relationships—and horses—don’t come with an owner’s manual, so guess what? You’ll have to learn as you go.

  • Confidence Without Aggression: Horses are prey animals, which means they have an uncanny ability to sense intention. Walk into their space with unpredictable energy, and they’ll bolt. Approach them with calm confidence, and they’re more likely to respond in kind. This is, weirdly, also excellent advice for navigating an argument with your significant other. Take a deep breath, and maybe don’t stomp into the metaphorical barn demanding answers.

  • Respect Boundaries: One of the first lessons I learned with young colts was that, while they’re adorable, sticking your face too close too soon is a great way to get a nose full of horse. Respect their need for a little space—and honestly, respect your partner’s space, too. No one likes a “clinger.”

There’s a saying in the riding world: “Throw your heart over the fence, and the horse will follow.” It’s an invitation to leap before you’re ready, to believe in something bigger than your fear. Sure, it’s about jumping obstacles on horseback, but let’s be real—it’s equally applicable to love. Sometimes, you just have to trust that the other half of your team will follow through.

The Unexpected Humor of Passion

Of course, passions aren’t all life lessons and solemn realizations. They’re also ridiculously funny in the small ways they creep into your life. For instance, my unshakable rancher’s instinct means I’m an absolute unit at noticing “red flags,” both literal and figurative, in any context. (Toxic behaviors in a date? Spotted that faster than I spot a rattlesnake near a trailhead.) I’ve also learned that my talk-of-choice to nervous first dates is, in fact, horse trivia—which, while fascinating to me, doesn’t always land the way I want. Fun fact: Did you know a horse’s teeth can tell you its age? No? My ex didn’t think it was all that charming either.

Still, if I had to pick a passion with some awkward social side effects, I’d choose horses every time. Better to love something so deeply it embarrasses you occasionally than to walk through life never feeling a spark. And even when people don’t quite get it, having your “thing” makes you magnetic—a reminder that the right people will absolutely vibe with unfiltered, 100% authentic you. Obsessed quirks and all.

Finding Your Own Obsession

You don’t have to grow up on a ranch or develop horse-whisperer tendencies to dig into something you love. Maybe your thing is baking three-tiered cakes from scratch, breaking out your karaoke rendition of Dolly Parton’s “Jolene,” or curating the ultimate spreadsheet for fantasy football. Whatever it is, lean into it fearlessly. It’s the passions we cling to—the borderline ridiculous, all-consuming obsessions—that make us more interesting, that sharpen us into people worth getting to know. They’re the stories we tell over drinks, the moments that press realness into our days.

Here’s a secret: People love passion. When you let yourself invest in something wholeheartedly, it has this ripple effect that touches everything around you: the way you carry yourself, the way you connect with others, the way you dare to put love into the things you care about most. That’s a confidence no dating app can give you.

Wrapping It Up

At the end of the day, my horse obsession has taught me how to show up, how to observe without judgment, and how to embrace my quirks—not grudgingly, but joyously. Practicing passion makes you resilient, makes you interesting, makes you, well, you. And if someone can’t keep up with your “thing,” they’re probably not the right fit.

Besides, what’s life without a few deep dives into the weird, wonderful corners of your soul? Whether it’s horses or anything else that makes your heart race, I hope you throw your heart over that fence. Trust me—the jump’s worth it.