It’s funny how life can feel like a dance between two worlds. I’ve spent years straddling not-so-obvious dualities—seawater and city lights, storytelling and science, crushing on someone and figuring out who I’m supposed to be first. Life doesn’t come with easy labels, and let’s be real—neither do relationships. Sometimes, it feels like you’re dipping a toe into two different oceans, unsure which tide to ride. (In case you’re wondering, California tide pools are twice as complicated and just as indecisive.)

Living “between worlds” can look like a lot of things. Maybe you’re juggling your parents’ cultural expectations with your big-city dating life. Or you’re learning how to balance the extrovert you pretend to be on Friday nights with the introvert who recharges under a fleece blanket on Saturday mornings. Whatever your version of Between Land looks like, I’m here to say: same. Let’s break it down.

My Life in Flip-Flops (and Other Dualities)

So, let me paint you a picture: I grew up in La Jolla, where most kids were fluent in “beach day” as a lifestyle. Think sandy toes, pelicans, and knowing instinctively when the fish tacos are fresh off the grill. For me, tide pools were playgrounds, and kelp beds felt more real than math homework. My mom, a marine biologist, could identify eight species of crabs by sight (brag). I took my first surfing lesson before I could parallel park.

But as much as I loved my barefoot upbringing, I always kept one foot in a world of structure and ambition. High school was about prep academies and Model United Nations. College, an experiment in proving to my overly spirited self that yes, I could navigate labs and essays without completely ghosting my love of tidal metaphors. I’d hang out at surf shacks blasting Jack Johnson one day and attend a lecture on coral sustainability the next. This constant toggling between worlds wasn’t just my reality—it became my personality.

And here’s the thing: that balancing act shows up everywhere, especially in how we love, connect, and define ourselves in relationships.

The Push-Pull of Relationships

If you’ve ever dated someone and thought, “Wait, do we want the same things?” you know the struggle. Navigating shared spaces, contrasting values, or even figuring out how you as a couple interact with the outside world can start to feel like tap-dancing on a tightrope. (Bonus points if their go-to pizza toppings directly oppose yours. Pineapple wars are real, people.)

Some dualities are subtle: texting speeds, sleep schedules, or whether they’re a night owl or someone who considers brunch late. Others are more complicated. Maybe you grew up in a family as expressive as an indie rom-com, while they’re from one that treats emotions like a state secret. Or one of you feels at home with “let’s go with the flow” while the other idolizes Google Calendar. It’s less about “opposites attract” and more about mutual understanding.

Learning to navigate those contrasts is part of building a connection. And while it’s romantic to imagine someone stepping into your world unscathed, it’s just as vital to extend an invitation to theirs.

Dual Realities, Single Truths

I’ve learned a few things about balancing worlds (largely by making messy mistakes and hoping no one was recording). Here’s the real deal with living in duality—whether it’s personal, cultural, or professional, the key isn’t flipping a coin. It’s learning how to bring elements of both worlds together—kind of like sea spray and city skyline blending in the same Instagram filter.

Here are three lessons I’ve gathered while juggling tides:

1. Give Yourself Permission to Be Complicated

Life—and love—doesn’t shrink-wrap neatly into a one-size-fits-all scenario. You can want “chill Sunday surfers and sunshine” vibes while also thriving in the hustle of ambition. Or combine coastal curiosity with wanderlust for bustling cities. Whatever your blend of worlds, own it. Your unique place on the spectrum is what makes you you.

Think of yourself as the human version of a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich, easy to love because of your contrasting layers. (Also, blocking any peanut butter haters is fair game.)

2. Have the “Bridge” Conversation

If you’re navigating a relationship—romantic or otherwise—it pays to have honest conversations about where you both stand in the dualities of life. Picture this: your partner grew up in a sitcom-perfect suburb while you hail from a chaotic family where laughter is a competitive sport. Are you clashing, or can you build a bridge?

Little things matter:
- Ask questions about their “normal.” Bring curiosity to their quirks.
- Don’t assume their half of the story looks like yours.
- And for heaven’s sake, find out what emotional pizza toppings they need.

Compromise doesn’t mean losing yourself. It just means finding the middle waters where both of you can float.

3. Balance is All About the Blur

Spoiler alert: life isn’t perfectly balanced. It’s messy, blurred, and oftentimes feels like inching forward in the fog. There’s no definitive answer to which “world” gets the most air time. Some days, you’ll lean into your fiery work ambition and barely notice the sunset. Other days, taking the scenic route offers perspective on what matters.

When balancing dualities—especially conceptions of love—focus less on dividing time and more on allowing worlds to complement each other. Your “coastline breezy meets big-city energy” doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but you (and maybe your soulmate, if they can keep up).

Finding Familiar in the Blur

Let’s bring it back home: living between worlds, especially in relationships, isn’t about picking sides. It’s about finding familiarity in both. Whether you’re torn between cultural roots, dueling personal impulses, or contradictory professional aspirations, accepting dualities makes life—and love—so much more layered.

Think of it this way: the Pacific meets countless rivers and ecosystems without losing its identity. It adapts, weaves together currents, and creates something breathtakingly dynamic. You can, too.

So, next time you’re standing on the metaphorical—or literal—shoreline between worlds, remember: sometimes, that hazy in-between space is where the magic breathes best. From flirt to familiar, you don’t have to choose. Your waters—tides, undertows, and all—are uniquely yours.

Now, excuse me while I go debate whether my mood today requires sunshine by the shoreline... or a latte under city skyscrapers. Life, like good pizza, is better with options.