Between the Tides: What Guides Me in Life and Love

I’ve always believed the truest lessons come from the world around us—uncharted trails, wild oceans, and even the lives that intertwine with our own. Growing up along Maine’s rugged coastline, I learned that relationships—like nature—are both unpredictable and resilient. Love is a lot like a tidepool: messy and full of surprises, and the tiniest detail can change everything. As I’ve navigated love, life, and heartbreak (oh, plenty of that), I’ve realized that my core beliefs aren’t just ideals. They’re my compass. They ground me in uncertainty, guide how I connect with others, and shape every word I write for this platform.

Here’s what I stand for when it comes to relationships—and why it matters for anyone searching for connection, whether that’s with someone else or with themselves.

Go Slow, but Don’t Stop—Like the Growth of Seaweed on the Shore

I’ll let you in on a secret: I’m not a fast mover. Maybe it’s because Bar Harbor runs on island time, or maybe it’s because tide pools taught me patience. When I crouched over them as a kid, I’d stay still just long enough to see hermit crabs come alive, scuttling from under rocks. Science fiction-level creatures like sea stars and anemones work on their own schedules, slowly extending delicate arms into salty currents. You can’t rush that kind of magic.

The same goes for relationships. While modern dating culture screams, “Hurry up, swipe right! This is the one!”, I’m a big believer in letting things unfold naturally. It’s about staying open to possibility while resisting the urge to jump straight into the deep end. Give people time to show who they are, and give yourself the gift of discovery. With a bit of patience, you might just find something—or someone—unexpectedly extraordinary.

Try this:
- Approach connections like treasure hunting. What’s the story behind their favorite coffee order? What’s the weirdest concert they’ve ever been to? Curiosity invites depth.
- Call yourself out when you feel rushed. Are you eager because you’re excited, or because you’re afraid of “missing out”? Learning the difference is freeing.

Authenticity Is Sexy—Channel Your Inner Rocky Maine Coast

I can’t talk about standing for something without mentioning authenticity. Coastal Maine is wild and untamed—barnacle-covered rocks that care nothing about Instagram-friendliness, storm-beaten lighthouses standing their ground against battering waves. Those places don’t apologize for being themselves, and honestly, why should they? They’re stunning in their own unfiltered way.

So, why is it that we’re always whitening our smiles for selfies or mentally editing our text messages until they're picture-perfect? Real relationships are built on trust, and trust starts with showing people who you really are. I’ve tried watering myself down before to fit someone else’s “type,” and let me tell you—being anyone but yourself gets boring fast. It’s like hiking a trail just to find out it loops back to the parking lot.

Your dose of realness inspiration:
- Assuming you like karaoke (and if not, why not??): What’s your go-to song? If they can’t handle your rendition of “Purple Rain,” maybe they don’t deserve you.
- Be upfront about what you love. Your oddball passions—antique spoons, knitting dog sweaters, whatever—are part of what makes you irresistible.

When It’s Wrong, Let Go—Even Waves Crash

Heartbreak is part of the deal, and it feels… well, terrible. There’s no sugarcoating it. One minute, you’re dreaming up plans for a coastal road trip fantasy, and the next, you’re sitting in bed eating boxed mac and cheese because you can’t even imagine cooking something “for one.”

But here’s the truth about breakups: They’re like storms on the Atlantic. Brutal and disorienting, yes, but they also reshape the landscape for something new. Every rocky outcropping near Bar Harbor has been formed by centuries of pounding surf. And me? I’ve become stronger (and less likely to date someone who uses the word “bro” unironically) because of the heartaches I’ve weathered.

What to remember when it’s time to walk away:
- Compatibility isn’t always about someone being bad for you; sometimes, you just aren’t meant to thrive together. And that’s okay.
- Keep a “storm kit” for your emotions. Mine includes my mom’s clam chowder recipe, a good book (anything but romance), and the friend who makes me laugh so hard I snort. Stock yours in advance.

Connection Thrives on Balance—Like Highs and Lows in the Tide

At low tide, the world smells like seaweed and muggy nostalgia. At high tide, the waves sweep through like something out of a Fleet Foxes song, crashing into every crevice. One can’t exist without the other—there’s magic in both extremes.

Relationships work the same way. Have the deep talks that bring you closer. Speak your fears out loud, even when you’re nervous they’ll sound silly. Rely on each other when times are hard. But don’t forget that sometimes, the soul craves balance. Practice flirting once in a while, even if you’ve been together for five years. Act obnoxiously over-the-top when singing in the car. Cheer them on when they absolutely butcher your favorite whitewater rafting metaphor.

This ebb and flow keeps love feeling alive. We need depth when the tide is out and delight when it comes rushing back in.

Celebrate Difference, Like Icelandic Moss vs. a Maine Forest

Not all love stories are as dramatic as lighthouses silhouetted against the storm. Sometimes, love takes the form of unlikely pairings—like moss in a lava field or tundra flowers in Iceland. While traveling there, I noticed how even the bleakest landscapes gave way to life. That reminds me of something I’ve learned about relationships over the years: the best ones don’t erase the jagged edges of who you are. They let both people thrive, even when their personalities seem as different as wild blueberries and lobster traps.

Tips for supporting differences:
- Share your world, piece by piece. The person who loves morning sprint workouts at 6AM might also grow to appreciate your favorite Sunday morning pancake ritual.
- Relish the learning curve. You’ll never be an expert on someone else’s quirks, ambitions, or struggles—and that’s what keeps it interesting.

The Takeaway: Love Isn’t a Straight Path, and That’s Okay

If there’s one thing Bar Harbor has taught me, it’s this: the best hikes aren’t paved. The trails wind, roots trip you, and sometimes the fog rolls in so heavy you can’t see what’s up ahead. But when you reach the clearing and breathe in that ocean air? Worth it.

Relationships are a lot like those trails. They’ll test your limits and show you where you shine. Along the way, staying true to what you stand for—patience, authenticity, and that storm-tested spirit—makes all the difference. Whether you’re searching for a partner or deepening bonds you already have, trust yourself to navigate the love stories that matter to you. You’ve got this.