The Day My Dryer Taught Me About Love

The Unexpected Wake-Up Call

The inspiration for this piece hit me one Thursday morning while I was in my laundry room—an unglamorous corner of my Buckhead home that smells faintly of lavender detergent and crushed dreams. I had just a few hours before a meeting, yet there I was, waist-deep in mismatched socks and rogue dryer sheets, glaring at my dryer. It buzzed unapologetically, mocking me yet again with its refusal to dry an entire load evenly. If therapy sessions had a soundtrack, the "damp alert" on this dryer might be mine.

But then it happened—one of those rare moments when life's petty inconveniences turn into profound truths. Somewhere between fluff cycles and my third aggressive press of the Start button, I realized something: my dryer behaves exactly like a bad relationship.

Yes, a dryer. The kind that eats one sock and leaves another a wrung-out, soggy excuse for a clothing item. We’ve all dated a dryer. And once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.

So, in honor of my journey from frustration to enlightenment, let’s dive into what your dysfunctional appliances—and their quirks—can teach you about love.

1. Uneven Cycles: The Hot-and-Cold Dilemma

Every dryer has that spot that stays inexplicably damp. You know—no matter how long you throw in your favorite sweater, it comes out cold and vaguely moist. Meanwhile, the pair of jeans you wore last week? Practically scorching and one size smaller now.

Sound familiar? That’s the hallmark of a hot-and-cold relationship. One moment, your person is showering you with affection, texting good night messages and remembering your dog’s middle name; the next? Radio silence. Ghosted dinner plans. A selfish center that’s so busy spinning it forgets you exist.

The lesson? A healthy relationship is consistent. You shouldn’t have to constantly restart the “cycle” to feel warmth, effort, and care. If you’re left wrangling with emotional extremes—breadcrumbed one day and love-bombed the next—maybe it’s time to ask, “Is this the cycle I want to keep repeating?”

2. The Missing Socks Conundrum

Where do all the socks go? No really, someone tell me—because at this point, I’m half-convinced they’ve formed a tiny colony on a forgotten paradise island. Without fail, my dryer takes one sock per load as its little emotional tax, as if I’m its long-suffering roommate covering its rent yet again.

It’s easy to dismiss this as part of life or “just how dryers are.” But doesn’t that also sound like what we tell ourselves when someone keeps taking from us—our time, energy, or patience—without giving anything in return?

Healthy relationships don’t involve unspoken taxes. The energy you give should come back to you, matched. Yes, sometimes one partner is carrying more than the other, but there’s a difference between someone borrowing your pair of hands and someone routinely leaving your sock drawer half-empty.

3. Overloading Will Break It

Ah, the overly ambitious load. Have you ever tried to stuff an entire week’s worth of sheets, towels, and gym clothes into one cycle, thinking, “Surely this can handle it”? Newsflash: It can’t. It never can. You put in too much, the machine sputters, tangles everything into a knotted mess, and suddenly nothing gets done.

Relationships are just as fragile. No matter how capable two people are individually, there’s only so much they can shoulder at once. Expecting one person to single-handedly carry the weight of a relationship (or your unresolved baggage from three prior ones) is asking for burnout.

The lesson? Balance the load. A good partnership doesn’t run on one person's effort while the other coasts.

4. Maintenance Matters

Nobody tells you this when you get a dryer, but apparently cleaning the lint trap is of the utmost importance. Neglect the lint trap for too long, and your appliance slows down, stops heating, or—worst case scenario—catches fire.

Relationships are no different. Think of the lint trap as all those little grievances and misunderstandings we brush under the rug: that one time your partner parked halfway across Atlanta for that sports bar you hate, or the snippy way they answered after a long day.

Small things accumulate. If you don’t address them, they start clogging your connection. Cleaning the “lint trap” of your relationship can be as simple as taking time to check in, apologize, or air frustrations in a safe, open way.

5. “Don’t Blame the Dryer”

Okay, real talk: Sometimes I am the problem. My dryer is not a high-tech creation—it’s no artisan masterpiece from a wistful Scandinavian catalog. It’s… fine. Adequate. Decent. The truth is, it’s not the dryer’s fault when I overload it, ignore the lint trap, or misjudge whether those white jeans really belong in a load of darks.

Not every relationship exists to meet us exactly where we’re at. Yes, some people are objectively terrible—but sometimes, our relationships falter because we refuse to adjust our expectations or take responsibility. If every relationship ends the same way, maybe the problem isn’t the dryer. Maybe it’s time to rethink how you approach love.

Putting It All Together

Look, don’t get me wrong: My dryer isn’t going to replace Rumi as the font of human wisdom (and if it does, we’re all in trouble). But that frustrating Thursday taught me a lot about relationships—not because I solved any grand mystery of domestic engineering, but because the microcosm of my laundry room mirrors so much of love’s little truths.

Love, like laundry, is messy. There are wrinkles, spills, and missing socks. You will mess it up occasionally, sweating through endless loads at 2 a.m. wondering if you can ever get it right. But if you can learn to balance the weight, accept imperfections, and pause long enough to check the lint trap, the process doesn’t feel so overwhelming.

So here’s to figuring it out, one cycle at a time—dryer sheets included.