Let me tell you, nothing turns heads at a family barbecue like, “I’m a full-time writer.” You’d think I’d just said I moonlight as Beyoncé’s choreographer. Questions come flying like uncles to the good ribs. “People still read books?” “What’s your backup plan?” Or my favorite: “Isn’t that just…typing?”
Oh, sweet summer child.
As someone who straddles creative fiction and relationship writing, my job is far more than late mornings in coffee-stained pajamas and whimsically staring into the distance. (No shade; the staring part does happen.) Writers are often mythologized or misrepresented—like rom-com writers who drape themselves in scarves and draft dialogue by candlelight, or the Ted Mosbys of the world, forever typing and retyping “Part 1” in some unsalvageable manuscript.
But the reality? It’s messy. And surprising. And more effortful than starring in your college’s production of A Raisin in the Sun (trust me, I was there). Allow me to break down a few myths people get wrong about what I do and how it all really plays out.
Myth #1: All Writers Are Swimming in a Pool of Creativity
You think I wake up every day humming with inspiration? Like Sade lyrics waft into my brain and spark the next masterpiece? I wish. Some days, creativity is more elusive than a decent date on Valentine’s Day.
Here’s the thing: writing isn’t always about waiting for a lightning bolt of brilliance—it’s about chasing it. My process feels less like a leisurely swim and more like dog-paddling upstream in murky water while swatting mosquitoes of self-doubt. And let me tell you, my inner critic is mean. She’s petty and quotes Rotten Tomatoes reviews that don’t even exist.
The Truth: Writing is work. Sure, I love what I do, but that doesn’t mean the words pour out, fully formed. Some days, it’s a tug-of-war with my brain just to get one clean paragraph. The trick is to show up anyway, butt in chair, and wrestle those words into submission.
Myth #2: My Job is Glamorous
“So, do you have, like, fancy book launches?” one cousin asked while nosily inspecting my pantry. (Does truffle oil really scream “I live lavishly,” Marcus?)
If by “glamorous” you mean wrangling two overflowing email inboxes, juggling deadlines like a circus act, and testing the limits of how much caffeine my body can handle—then sure, it’s very luxurious. For every celebrated article or shining review, there are countless lonely hours of revision and rejection. It’s definitely not champagne parties at the Guggenheim.
You think Idris Elba is whispering editorial tips into my ear while I write? No, but the neighbor’s leaf blower? Always. And let’s not even get into the heartbreak of an unwatched Reels post—a tragedy worthy of Shakespearean drama.
The Truth: My job is rewarding, but “glamorous” is overstated. It’s more like trying to get Beyoncé-caliber results while dancing barefoot in a kitchen the size of one of her closets.
Myth #3: Writing About Relationships is Easy
I love when people hear I write about dating and relationships and respond, “Oh, that must be fun!” Listen, it is fun, but it’s not simple. If there’s one topic that’ll make you reconsider your faith in humanity (and in spell-check), it’s romance.
In order to write about love and connection with authenticity, I have to go there. And by “there,” I mean my own experiences, the good and the cringey. Like that time I went on a blind date who insisted on ordering for me… and somehow decided my vibe said “bacon-wrapped liver bites.” Or that relationship that ended when my ex passive-aggressively moved my peach-scented candle into his bathroom. (The audacity still haunts me.)
The Truth: Writing about relationships requires empathy, nuance, and vulnerability. I spend a lot of time separating winsome anecdotes from actual advice, all while honoring different perspectives. It’s about more than love languages; it’s about discernment, whether you’re dissecting modern ghosting trends or your own red-flag radar.
Myth #4: Writers Just Sit Around All Day
When I worked as a speechwriter, the image of me reclining in an armchair, spinning golden metaphors as Congress perked up their ears, was… not accurate. Writing requires discipline, structure, and—stay with me—spreadsheets.
Yes, spreadsheets.
I spend more time organizing and outlining than the average Virgo at an office supply sale. There’s research to be done, sources to verify, and that fine line between procrastinating on YouTube and “studying cultural trends” to toe. And don’t get me started on editing. Cutting paragraphs is like breaking up, only harder because your paragraphs don’t beg for closure. (Although wouldn’t that be wild?)
The Truth: Writing is less about inspiration and more about execution. It’s developing outlines, improving drafts, and drinking the third cup of coffee because “just one more pass” turned into four hours.
Myth #5: Writers Are Always Profound
Here’s the kicker: I don’t always have wise answers to life’s deepest questions. Sometimes, I’m just figuring it out alongside you, one mix-tape metaphor at a time. Even with my journalism degree and MFA, there are moments where I feel like I’m winging it in the world of relationships—just like all of you.
I write about dating not because I’ve cracked the code, but because I’m passionate about unraveling what makes us click (or not click). It’s like a never-ending Choose Your Own Adventure novel… except this one occasionally involves emotional baggage and margaritas.
The Truth: I’m just a human trying to make sense of the chaos. I draw from what I’ve learned in life, along with research, humor, and whatever harkens back to that old-fashioned Texan belief in treating everyone at the barbecue with grace—even the messy ones.
What It All Means
Here’s the real takeaway: Writing isn’t as breezy as it seems, nor is it always luminous or perfectly profound. But the beauty of my job—the part I wouldn’t trade for all the romantic candlelit writing myths in the world—is that it allows me to connect. Whether it’s a reader relating to a breakup anecdote or someone seeing themselves recognized in my fiction, this work is about creating something that makes people feel seen. Isn’t that the goal in love, life, and everything in between?
So, the next time you hear I’m a writer and your first thought is, “Oh, you must have endless free time,” just know that while my job may not involve literal blood, sweat, and tears… it comes dangerously close. And PSA: I still don’t appreciate literary jokes about “exposure” as payment. This truffle oil doesn’t buy itself, Marcus.
