What’s in a name? Shakespeare may have downplayed its significance, but let’s be real here—names are a brand, an identity, a first impression. In the complex tapestry of relationships, from fleeting flirtations to lifelong partnerships, our names are often the first puzzle piece others try to fit into their idea of who we are. And from awkward meet-cutes to dinner dates where someone’s trying far too hard to not say your name wrong, the weight of our monikers can feel... complicated.

As someone blessed—or cursed, depending on the Starbucks barista—with the name Briar, I’ve learned a thing or two about how a name can become a conversation starter, a source of tension, or even a charming little quirk that people associate with you forever. (For the last time, no, I wasn’t named after Sleeping Beauty.) So, let’s dive into the power of your name, how it ties into your identity, and why owning it can actually be the secret sauce for skyrocketing your confidence—not just in relationships, but in life.

The Vineyard Theory of Identity: Growing into a Name

Growing up in Napa Valley, I was surrounded by names that screamed sophistication, from velvety-smooth Merlots to bold, palate-punching Zinfandels. If I learned anything from sitting under olive trees with a glass of something aged to perfection in hand, it’s that a name can carry layers of meaning while hinting at the unique blend of qualities it holds. Much like how wine labels intrigue you before you even take a sip, your name is the metaphorical front label of who you are.

This hit me most profoundly during a summer abroad in France, studying under culinary greats with names like Colette and Lucien. These people wore their names like vintage silk scarves: effortlessly, flawlessly, but in a way that suited only them. Suffused with that French confidence, I started seeing my own name like a bottle of boutique rosé: unique, perhaps underestimated, but worthy of being savored.

So, how do you start wearing your name with confidence? First, you embrace its story, however simple or elaborate it may be. Whether you’ve got a name as common as a Chardonnay or as intriguing as a Viognier, it’s a reflection of you. If you’re not even sure what your name really “means,” try this handy thought exercise:

  • Who gave you your name? Is there a family tradition or significance behind it?
  • Does your name have roots in other cultures or languages? Dive into its etymology—you might find there’s more depth than you realized.
  • What associations has your name picked up over the years? (Bonus points if it made you laugh or mortally cringe.)

Remember, just like a patch of sun-kissed vines needs care and attention to yield good grapes, your confidence in your name takes time to cultivate. But, trust me—it can absolutely age well.

When Your Name Is (Accidentally) the Punchline

Here’s a fun fact: When you have a name like Briar, introductions often come with assumptions. "Wow, like the plant?" or "Were your parents into fairy tales?" Insert eye roll here. Initially, I used to awkwardly brush it off, much like you’d shrug at a spilled wine glass during a less-than-perfect first date. But eventually, I learned to lean into the uniqueness of it. Turns out, people really resonate with a name story—especially when told with a dose of humor.

For instance, during a wine-tasting class I led years ago, someone asked, “So, Briar—did you branch out into wine because of the name?” On the spot, I replied, “Of course. I figured if life gives you thorns, you may as well make... a floral cabernet from it.” It got a big laugh, turned into a running joke that night, and taught me that owning your name—even its quirks—can be surprisingly charming.

If you’ve ever felt like your name is too much—too unusual, too common, too hard to pronounce—don’t shy away. Instead:

  • Flip the Script: Make a joke, or better yet, tell a story. Awkward names have a way of becoming delightful icebreakers.
  • Correct with Confidence: Someone butchers your name? Politely, but firmly, correct them. Nothing says "I know my worth" like refusing to accept being called “Sarah” when you’re really a Zahra.
  • Set the Tone: If your name feels like an anomaly, own it in your introduction. Say it with a little extra flair, maybe even a dash of mystery: “Hi, I’m Briar—like the plant, but way less prickly.”

Let your name be a tool to connect rather than an obstacle to overcome. It’s all about your delivery.

Identity Intertwined: Names, Relationships, and First Impressions

Think about the people you meet in the early stages of dating. Often, before sparks start to fly, you’re stuck on the basics—names, occupations, and maybe which streaming platform they swear loyalty to. ("Oh, you’re still borrowing a Netflix password? Bold.") First impressions matter here, even if they’re subconscious. Your name doesn’t just speak to who you are—it sets the tone for how someone remembers you.

Ever had the misfortune of forgetting someone’s name—like, two minutes after they told you? Same. It turns out, we’re more likely to remember a name when it’s tied to something unique or memorable about the person. So, if your name is Taylor, but you also mention that it was inspired by James Taylor’s greatest hits album, congratulations—you’re now the person with a great taste in vintage music. People will remember that.

For dating purposes, here’s a little cheat sheet:

  • Double Down on Identity: Use your name as a segue. If someone asks about it, share a quick anecdote that shows off your personality. Bonus points if it’s cheeky, sweet, or slightly unexpected.
  • Don’t Be Shy About Nicknames: Whether you’re an Elizabeth who prefers Liz, or an Alejandro who shortens to Ale, sharing how you choose to be addressed gives you ownership and shows off your preferences—a subtly magnetic move.
  • Let Them Say it Right: Pronunciation is a skill, like knowing the correct way to swirl your wine glass. If someone’s earnest but hopelessly mangling your name? Offer a pep talk instead of a side-eye. (“You almost got it! Think of it like—[insert simple analogy here].”) People love a challenge.

Claim Your Crown: Confidence Starts with Owning Who You Are

Your name isn’t just a combination of syllables that gets your attention when someone yells it across a crowded café. It’s a part of your story—one that’s evolving every day. By embracing it, owning it, and maybe even weaving a little comedy into how you present it (because, seriously, life’s too short for stuffy self-seriousness), you radiate a confidence that’s immediately attractive.

No matter what stage of connection you’re navigating—first dates, anniversaries, or somewhere beautifully undefined—confidence isn’t just about how you look or act. It’s about knowing who you are, name and all.

So if you’ve been waiting for permission to proudly and unapologetically introduce yourself, this is me handing you your crown. Wear it like the masterpiece you are—whether your name sings like a symphony or stumbles like a karaoke fail. Either way, you’re unforgettable.

Now go out there, and make your name the best story in the room.