Travel changes you—in ways you don’t even realize until you’re back home, standing in your familiar surroundings with a mind full of unfamiliar ideas. For me, it’s been like putting on new glasses for the first time: everything suddenly comes into sharper focus. I’ve lived in bustling cities like Abuja, Lagos, and London, but nothing has taught me more about myself than packing my bags, stepping away from “home,” and letting the world jostle me into revelations I didn’t see coming.
Turns out, wandering through airport terminals, losing my way in foreign towns, and learning how to say "thank you" in five different languages have been some of the best teachers life could offer. Below are the biggest lessons travel has taught me—not just about finding myself, but about finding and building stronger connections with others.
1. You Can’t Pack Everything—Physically or Emotionally
The first time I traveled for work, I wanted to pack my entire life. I stuffed my suitcase with shoes I didn’t need, books I wouldn’t finish, and outfits that made no sense for the weather in Dakar. By the time I landed, I was dragging around a hefty load and silently cursing my overzealous packing. I've since learned to survive with one carry-on bag. Funny how 22kg restrictions can teach you the beauty of letting go.
The same goes for emotional baggage. Travel is like a reset button, a chance to shed the weight you’ve been carrying—sometimes without even realizing it. Sitting on a sparse AirBnB mattress in Cape Town, I had this "aha" moment: Why do we cling to hurts and grudges like expired souvenirs? You wouldn’t pack a cracked mug, so why do we insist on carrying feelings that no longer serve us?
Practical Tip: Before your next trip (or relationship), ask yourself: “What can I leave behind?” Whether it's physical clutter or emotional weight, you’ll be shocked by how freeing it feels.
2. Connection Is Universal—But It Requires Effort
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from navigating markets in Accra or sharing jollof rice at a Lagos street party, it's this: people are people—no matter where you go. Sure, cultures vary, and customs differ, but at the end of the day, connection comes down to one core ingredient: effort.
I remember walking into a fruit shop in Zanzibar and fumbling through Swahili, trying to say "banana." The shopkeeper erupted into laughter (probably because I called it something entirely different), but my attempt to connect turned into a warm exchange, complete with smiles and a discount. When I think about relationships—romantic or otherwise—it’s the same idea: small, honest gestures build bridges.
Practical Tip: Learning a few words in someone’s language—or even just respecting their traditions—can go a long way. A sincere “I’m listening” can feel to someone like stumbling onto their favorite coffee shop in a city they’ve never been to before.
3. Romance Isn’t Always in the Grand Gestures
Picture this: I was in Paris (yes, the city of love) expecting fireworks every time I stepped outside. Spoiler alert: No one kissed me on a bridge or read me French poetry while a string quartet played in the background. Instead, my most memorable moment? A stranger made me laugh so hard at some ridiculous mime near Sacré-Cœur that tears streamed down my face.
Turns out, it's not the Eiffel Tower that makes romance happen—it’s the small, unscripted things. A thoughtful look. A gentle hand on the small of your back as you cross a busy street. Love, both abroad and at home, is so often in the little moments when you stop overthinking and just exist together.
Practical Tip: Stop waiting for epic rom-com gestures—appreciate the tiny acts of tenderness. It could be a stranger offering directions or someone sharing an umbrella in the rain. That’s the real romance of life.
4. The Best Views Come with the Toughest Climbs
There’s a hiking trail near Cape Town called Lion’s Head. It’s breathtaking at the top, but the journey up? Not so much. I remember halfway through the climb, drenched in sweat, gasping for air, and considering pretending to sprain my ankle just to have an excuse to stop. But each grueling step was worth it when I stood at the summit, the city glittering below and the mountains towering like quiet giants.
Relationships work the same way. The best ones aren’t easy. They’ll challenge you, make you uncomfortable, and demand growth. But when you commit to putting in the work—on yourself and with your partner—the view of what you can build together is nothing short of spectacular.
Practical Tip: When you hit tough moments in love or life, ask yourself: “Is this a mountain worth climbing?” If yes, don’t shy away from the work. If not, turn back confidently—there’s no shame in knowing your limits.
5. You’re Stronger (and Clumsier) Than You Think
I’ve tripped in Lagos markets, bargained terribly in Senegal, gotten sunburned in Cape Town despite being melanated, and once ate something in Ghana that had me questioning my life choices for 48 straight hours. And yet, here I am—still alive, stronger, and with stories to tell. Travel has taught me to laugh at my mistakes, lean into my awkwardness, and treat failures as part of the journey.
Much like dating, isn’t it? We all stumble, say the wrong thing, or invest in the wrong person sometimes. One bad date—or several hundred—isn’t the end of your love story. It’s just an overly spicy chapter you can laugh about later.
Practical Tip: When awkward moments happen (and they will), remember: You’ll survive. And you’ll have a funny story to share over drinks someday.
6. Alone Time Is a Gift, Not a Punishment
Somewhere in London’s Southbank, sipping tea and watching tourists dart around the Thames, I realized how much I loved my own company. No obligations, no expectations—just me, my thoughts, and the electric hum of a city that didn’t know I existed. Alone is not the same as lonely; it can be peaceful, revelatory, even empowering.
In relationships, we sometimes cling to others like a tourist clutching their overstuffed itinerary, afraid to miss something. But travel reminded me that space isn’t just good—it’s necessary. Whether it’s walking a foreign street alone or giving yourself a solo movie date back home, time with yourself is a way to recharge and rediscover who you are.
Practical Tip: Schedule time with yourself, just as you would for someone you love. You’ll learn to enjoy your own company, and it’ll make you even better at connecting with others.
7. Home Is a Feeling, Not a Place
In all my travels—from Senegal’s sandy beaches to London’s drizzly streets—it’s the people who made a place feel like home. I’ve learned that home isn’t about geography; it’s about who makes your heart hum when you’re with them. Sometimes, it’s your family. Sometimes, it’s a new love. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, it’s both.
Travel strips away the noise and comforts of familiarity and teaches you to feel, deeply, where you belong and with whom. The world is big enough that you can thrive in a thousand places—but there’s always that one spot, that one person, that one feeling that tells you: “This is it.”
Practical Tip: Don’t get too hung up on finding “home” in one place. Pay attention to the people and places that make you feel warm, whole, and alive—and hold onto them.
Travel isn’t always glamorous. It can be messy, awkward, and exhausting. But for every missed flight or sunburn, there’s a moment of beauty and clarity waiting for you. The same can be said for life, love, and every connection in between. So, pack your bags—lightly. Be open to lessons, willing to put in the effort, and don’t forget to look up and savor the view every now and then. You’ve got this.
