If you really want to know someone, ask them about the things they can’t live without. Odds are, what people choose to keep close says more about them than they realize. These essentials? They’re more than just “stuff.” They’re tiny pieces of who we are—what keeps us grounded, inspired, and sometimes just sane. So, in the spirit of vulnerability (and because my editor told me to), here’s a peek at the things I can’t live without.

Spoiler alert: it’s not just water and Wi-Fi. Though, let’s be honest, those are pretty high on the list.

1. The Perfect Pair of Sunglasses

I live in the desert, so sunglasses aren’t just an accessory. They’re survival gear. But it goes beyond protection from retina-melting sunshine. There’s something about donning the right pair of shades that shifts your whole vibe. Slip on some aviators, and suddenly you’re Top Gun-level confident strolling into the local coffee shop. (Even if you’re just there for iced oat milk lattes. No judgment.)

Great shades also serve practical purposes beyond the UV-blocking benefits. Running into an ex at Target? Sunglasses. Didn’t sleep enough to face the world? Sunglasses. Haven’t plucked your eyebrows in three weeks? You guessed it. Sunglasses. The right pair says, "I’ve got my life together… even if I just spilled oat milk on my shirt."

2. My Notebook & a Pen That Feels Expensive

Call me old-fashioned, but I’m obsessed with having a sleek, lined notebook and a pen that writes so smoothly it makes signing grocery store receipts feel glamorous. Why this combo? Because everything starts as an idea. Something about physically writing things down helps me think clearly—a rare commodity in a world where screens dominate every second of the day.

Here’s the thing: life (and love) requires intention, and this notebook is where I untangle all my thoughts. Whether I’m drafting the next chapter in a book or scribbling out a pros and cons list about whether to text back “Let’s talk,” it’s all there. No app will ever match the low-tech brilliance of pen meeting paper.

3. A Trusty Pair of White Sneakers

I don’t care where you’re from—white sneakers are a cultural uniform that transcends everything. They’re the footwear equivalent of french fries: reliable, universally loved, and always appropriate. Whether I’m braving airport security or trotting out to meet someone for coffee, they’re my go-to. Bonus points: white kicks make every outfit look intentional, even if you’ve spent half the day in sweatpants.

Now, are they practical in the red-dust-laden Sonoran Desert? Definitely not. But as with anything, you make allowances for style. I’ve probably scrubbed cactus-stained dirt off my sneakers more times than I care to admit. Worth it every time. Practicality is overrated.

4. That One Perfect Spotify Playlist

Ah, the romantic power of music. All it takes is a guitar riff or soft piano melody to transport you back in time—to your first real crush, a dreamy vacation sunset, or that absolutely terrible office holiday party where you met someone who turned out to be unexpectedly kind. My go-to playlist has a little bit of everything: Chris Stapleton’s gravel-road voice for heartache, Kacey Musgraves for new beginnings, and a sprinkling of Fleetwood Mac (because Stevie Nicks is forever a mood).

The right song can turn a bad day around—it’s practically therapy, but cheaper. And no matter what stage of a relationship I’m navigating—flirty, complicated, or full-blown “should we adopt a puppy together?”—this playlist understands me. Plus, who doesn’t want the perfect soundtrack for a spontaneous road trip? (Or, let’s be real, an impromptu drive to Trader Joe’s because you forgot almond butter.)

5. A Desert Hike, Preferably with Red Rocks & No Cell Service

If my childhood taught me anything, it’s that the desert kind of forces self-reflection on you. Maybe it’s the stillness. Or the sense that you’re standing somewhere ancient, with quiet secrets embedded in its red-rock surface. Either way, a proper hike fixes almost everything—yes, including dating drama. I’ve worked through absolutely ridiculous situations while trekking through dry creek beds, brushing sand and regrets off my running shoes.

Mid-hike epiphany: if someone doesn’t text you back while you’re climbing the switchbacks, they’re probably not your cliff to scale anyway. (See? Endless desert metaphors.)

6. Coffee: Hot, Iced, or Questionably Strong

There’s something beautifully ritualistic about the first sip of coffee. I don’t care if it’s brewed at home, drive-thru convenient, or poured by a barista who judges me for choosing vanilla syrup—coffee is my lifeblood. It’s simultaneously a jolt of energy and a moment of stillness, like the caffeinated equivalent of yoga.

But let’s skip the L.A.-influencer “latte art” chatter and get real: coffee is critical when navigating life’s twists and turns. Got ghosted? Walk it off… with coffee in hand. Cracking your knuckles before sending a bold “Hey, I really like you” text? Coffee first. Contemplating why someone thought “u up?” was a good idea at 2 a.m.? Definitely start with caffeine.

7. The Group Chat

Sure, it’s technically not a “thing,” but hear me out. My group chat—aptly named “Desert Squad”—is a treasure trove of memes, crisis management, and unsolicited dating advice that’s somehow always right. You know the chat I’m talking about. The friends who respond instantly to, “Should I forward this screenshot or let karma handle it?” The ones who hype you up before a date but would also sit back quietly if your karaoke song choice was an unholy Taylor Swift mashup.

These folks? Non-negotiable. They’re the built-in safety net reminding you to laugh at the absurdities of life. And they're always on call to decode one-word texts like linguistic experts.

8. That One Killer Jacket

I don’t care if it’s 75 degrees at midnight in Scottsdale—there’s always room for a slightly overdramatic leather jacket. Why does it matter so much? Because every major movie moment happens in a statement jacket, obviously. It’s the stand-in for bravery, coolness, and an attitude that says, “Yeah, I’m interesting. And I know what kind of tacos to order.”

Throw on a great jacket, and suddenly you’re less worried about whether the person across the dinner table noticed the mini-stain on your shirt collar. You’re too busy feeling like James Dean on a midnight ride—even if the ride is actually you crashing early because you accidentally hiked 10 miles in said jacket.

9. Southwestern Charm—and a Dash of Optimism

I mean, come on—did you expect me not to include this? Growing up surrounded by sprawling desert horizons reshaped the way I see the world. The desert doesn’t wait on anyone. It’s hot, rugged, and full of surprises—like that one quiet guy you didn’t think had a sense of humor until he cracked a sneaky joke over margaritas.

Here’s why this matters: you’ve got to find what makes life adventurous and hold onto it. A little optimism (and a lot of charm) has gotten me through plenty of those “What now?” moments in relationships with people who weren’t “right” but taught me something anyway. Like the desert, life has rough terrain—and also stunning sunsets.

Final Thoughts: Your “Can’t-Live-Withouts” Matter

Here’s the thing—I could give up most material possessions if I had to. (Although, let’s not make me prove it by taking away the notebook and coffee.) What truly matters is this: surrounding yourself with what inspires you, energizes you, and reminds you of what you’re working toward in life and love.

So, what are your essentials? Because knowing what you can’t live without might just teach you what to look for—in others, in yourself, and maybe even in that notebook I hope you actually start using.

Go ahead, start your own list. You’d be surprised where it leads.