Ever feel like passion chooses you, rather than the other way around? For me, it was as if one day I woke up and my heart whispered, “This is it.” But if we’re being honest, it was less of a whisper and more like my many aunts in a family circle loudly suggesting, “Harriet, maybe writing is your thing o!” And who can ignore that? Especially when they’ve fed you pounded yam and egusi soup to go with it.

Falling in Love, One Word at a Time

Let me take you back to the bustling streets of Abuja, where I grew up surrounded by the constant hum of family, friends, suya sellers, and overzealous neighbors who always had unsolicited advice on how life should go. Growing up in a home where Friday night storytelling sessions were as important as Sunday jollof rice, I learned early on that words have power. Whether it was the mouthwatering descriptions of food during family gatherings or the dramatic flair my grandmother added when recounting her courtship days (spoiler: my grandfather won her over with fresh palm wine and patient persistence), I was drawn to the art of storytelling.

But writing didn’t come naturally—not at first. While my siblings excelled at sciences and aced chemistry like it was their birthright, I buried myself in novels. Before I discovered Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s words that felt like warm, familiar music, I survived on dog-eared copies of Mills & Boon, romanticizing love stories that always ended with the smell of roses instead of the realistic headache of deciding whose family to visit during Christmas. I kept journals, earned nicknames like “Miss Pen and Paper,” and quietly began to notice that putting words together could soothe my restless heart.

Plot Twist: A Passion Unfolds

It wasn’t until my university days in Lagos that I realized writing was more than a hobby; it was the thing that gave me butterflies—more than even my brief crush who ghosted me after a week (his loss, honestly). Sociology opened my eyes to human behavior, and suddenly I was sketching not just feelings on paper, but exploring the rich tapestry of traditions and relationships in our society. Every essay I wrote felt like a mini journal entry into how we connect with each other.

Later, during my NGO days, flying between Ghana, Senegal, and South Africa, I encountered stories that left a mark on my soul. Women who had risen above daunting odds, cultures that blended modernity and tradition, and relationships that defied every stereotype the world loves to peddle about African love. And each time, I couldn’t help but write these stories down. It was as if my pen couldn’t resist dancing every time I returned to my hotel with another tale swirling in my head.

The thing about passion is that it doesn’t often announce itself with a neon sign or fireworks. It sneaks up on you, offering you quiet moments of joy until you look back and go, “Wait… this is my thing.” For me, that realization came in my late 20s, sitting in a tiny London apartment I could barely afford after a grueling day of work. Instead of Netflix and chill, I turned to my laptop and poured my feelings into words—and I haven’t stopped since.

Why Passion Feels Like Falling in Love (the Healthy Kind)

Ever notice how passion feels a lot like a great relationship? It’s exhilarating, sometimes challenging, but never drains you. Here’s what I’ve learned about the love affair that is passion:

  • It gives as much as it takes. Much like a love language, passion gives you energy just when you’re running on empty. When I’m feeling defeated, writing no longer feels like “work”—it’s a source of healing.

  • It mirrors the best in you. Writing forces me to reflect on my experiences, my upbringing, and the kind of love and connection I want to share with others. All those afternoons spent watching how my parents bantered over Match of the Day or how my brothers argued over who got the last piece of goat meat at dinner? They’ve found their way into my stories.

  • It evolves with you. Just like any committed relationship, passion grows as you do. What began as diary scribbles transformed into thoughtful essays, then into love notes to my community. My passion meets me where I am in life.

So, How Can You Cultivate Your Own Passion?

Falling in love with your passion isn’t a lightning bolt moment for everyone. Think of it like dating—you won’t always swipe right on something and figure it out in one go. But here’s what worked for me:

  1. Start with curiosity. Remember those silly things you loved doing as a child? Whether it was drawing, baking mud pies, or pretending to interview Beyonce with a broom as your mic, there’s magic in revisiting those childhood joys. For me, it was turning emotion into ink.

  2. Get comfortable with trial and error. Spoiler: my first drafts are awful. But just like you can’t perfect your dance moves after one Afrobeat class, passion takes patience. It’s about doing something repeatedly until you find your rhythm.

  3. Connect with your “why.” Maybe you don’t know why yet, but that’s okay. For me, my passion for writing grew from wanting to tell stories that celebrate love and human connection. What longing or value drives you?

  4. Find your tribe. Surround yourself with people who nurture your passions. My family, while sometimes hilariously overinvolved, always championed my creativity. They reminded me to write what resonated with me, not what “looked good.”

  5. Don’t stop playing. Yes, passion requires discipline but don’t let it lose its joy. Writing became effortless when I leaned into humor, my cultural roots, and the pleasure of seeing my thoughts spill onto a blank page.

Conclusion: Your Passion, Your Power

Here’s what I know to be true: Passion has the power to ground you when life gets shaky. It’s the quiet reassurance that, no matter what chaos might unfold, you’ve got something that truly belongs to you. Whether it’s dancing, creating, coding, or storytelling, your passion doesn’t have to “save” you to matter. It just has to be yours.

So, take a breath. Listen to the quiet call of that thing you love. Because love isn’t reserved only for relationships or rose petals scattered on hotel beds. True love exists when you find something that makes your soul want to samba. And trust me, the domino effect of that kind of love is unstoppable.