Growing up under the wide skies of Telluride, I learned that what you stand for is as important as where you plant your feet. The trails I walked and the stories I scribbled were my first lessons in honesty and grit. Life on a ranch doesn’t leave a lot of room for half-truths—horses, like relationships, can sense when you’re faking it. And let’s be honest, no one wants to be the person who gets bucked off because they were too busy pretending to know what they’re doing. “What I stand for” isn’t just a catchy article prompt for me—it’s the groundwork of my writing, my relationships, and how I choose to show up in the world.

Belief #1: Authenticity Over Perfection

If the San Juan Mountains have taught me anything, it’s that imperfections are what make the view worth savoring. I mean, take a gander at Lizard Head Peak—a jagged summit that isn’t exactly postcard-perfect, yet it’s impossible to forget. The same applies in life. A first date isn’t about flawless timing or whether you laugh at the same sitcoms (although, if you can’t appreciate Parks and Recreation, we might have deeper issues). It’s about being real, even if “real” means admitting you don’t actually know how to pronounce “charcuterie” mid-date.

Take my family’s outfitter business, for example. Guiding tourists through mountain trails wasn’t glamorous; rainstorms soaked us head-to-toe, city slickers occasionally thought cowboy boots were optional, and on one particularly eventful ride, a horse named Gus decided he was done for the day and laid down mid-trail. Hardly Insta-perfect, I promise you. But those moments—all messy and unpredictable—made it memorable. Kind of like relationships. Being yourself, quirks and all, is what creates stories worth retelling.

Actionable takeaways for relationships:
- Drop the performance. In any stage of a connection, honesty wins every time. It’s okay to admit you hate hiking before getting dragged up a fourteener by your outdoorsy match.
- Embrace the imperfections. That awkward silence? That botched joke? Chalk it up as just another Gus-in-the-trail moment. Nobody remembers “perfect,” but they’ll always remember real.

Belief #2: Commit to Showing Up

One thing about ranch life: there aren’t any shortcuts when real work needs doing. You can’t just sit back and let good relationships—or the horses—run themselves. (Pro tip: They won’t.) Showing up, time and again, whether it’s for a grueling day fixing fences or a difficult conversation, is what builds trust and connection.

I once spent three months in a long-distance relationship, and let me tell you, if there’s a fast track to learning commitment, that’s it. We scheduled regular calls, wrote each other letters, and even shared playlists, all to stay tethered across the miles. But commitment wasn’t just about consistency—it was showing I cared enough to put in the effort, even when things got inconvenient. Relationships, just like tending a ranch, aren’t for folks looking to glide by on cruise control.

Actionable takeaways for relationships:
- Be consistent. Text back when you say you will. Make the plans you talk about. Trust is built on these small, steady gestures.
- Invest effort actively. Pay attention to what matters to your partner—whether it’s showing up with flowers (or tacos, if we’re being practical) or simply listening when they’ve had a tough day.

Belief #3: Humor is the Great Unifier

You know what holds a fraternity of trail guides together? Humor. If you can laugh at yourself while trying to outrun a thunderstorm on horseback, you’ve got half a chance at survival. Relationships thrive on that same kind of camaraderie—finding the funny in unexpected moments, letting go of what you can’t control.

Humor’s been my safety net in dating disasters, awkward small talk, and flat-out rejection. Case in point: the time I was stuck on a blind date where her one passion in life was aerial yoga. By her third enthusiastic demonstration of how she could “totally hook her knees over a yoga swing and touch the ground like Cirque du Soleil,” I had to laugh—or else text my best friend to fake a family emergency. (Relax, I didn’t bail; we made it through dessert.) Instead of being annoyed—or bewildered—I appreciated how much joy her quirky hobby brought her. That’s what humor does: turns situations from “ugh” to “okay, let’s roll with it.”

Actionable takeaways for relationships:
- Laugh with, not at. Connect over the weird, unexpected parts of your day. It’s bonding fuel to poke fun at life together.
- Don’t take it so seriously. If your date spills coffee or takes 42 tries to parallel park, let it slide. One day, it might be a story you tell fondly.

Belief #4: Life’s a Trail, Not a Race

The beauty of a horseback ride lies in the pace—you don’t gallop the whole way. You pause to take in the views, laugh at how stubborn a mule can be, and enjoy the company of whoever’s on the saddle next to you. That’s a lesson I carry into all my connections: there’s no rush, no finish line to beat.

In one of my favorite Willa Cather novels, a character says, “That is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great.” It’s a reminder to let relationships unfold naturally instead of forcing outcomes. Early on, I assumed I had to know within three dates whether someone was “The One.” Spoiler alert: life does not work on rom-com timelines. Sometimes it takes ten dates—or ten years—to figure things out, and that’s okay. Even if things don’t lead to a fairytale ending, the journey will almost always teach you something worthwhile.

Actionable takeaways for relationships:
- Slow down. Resist the urge to define the relationship too early or decide where things are headed by Date #3. Let yourself enjoy the present moment.
- Reflect, don’t perfect. Not every connection will pan out, but every connection is worth examining. What did you learn about yourself? What did they teach you about who you are or what you want?

Belief #5: Connection Starts with You

Let me say this, plain as a mountain sky after a storm: you can’t expect to fully connect with others if you’re not in tune with yourself. I didn’t learn this one on horseback—I learned it the hard way. After a breakup that felt an awful lot like getting tossed off a bronco, I realized I’d spent more time trying to “fix” the relationship than understanding what I needed in the first place. There’s an old cowboy saying: “The horse knows the way home.” Sometimes, you have to stop pulling the reins and trust that the answers are already within you.

In the mountains, as in relationships, there’s power in solitude. Pausing to look inward—not in a “go sit under a tree and become a monk” way, but in small, everyday check-ins—teaches you what you’re ready to give and what you’re not. Building better connections only comes when you’ve done the work on yourself.

Actionable takeaways for relationships:
- Check your footing. Know your values, your needs, and your boundaries before trying to merge lives with someone else.
- Be kind to yourself. Connection starts with self-compassion; after all, you’re the only constant in every chapter of your story.

The Final Trail Marker

So, what do I stand for? I stand for showing up messy, imperfect, and 100% real. I stand for doing the work, finding joy in shared laughter, and savoring the slow, uncharted trails that lead us closer. Relationships—whether casual connections or deep partnerships—aren’t about hitting milestones or following a pre-written map. They’re about taking the journey side by side, even when the clouds roll in.

Wherever you are on your path—whether you’re flirting at Base Camp or trekking toward something deeper—I hope this: that you stand tall for your own values and let the right people stand with you.